I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girl's shoulder today.
I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen any citizen in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart, accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam of the nearest building as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical übernut, combined with the total disintegration of everything in its path, caused the Evangelic Fraternity of Basketweaving to collapse, and the majority of female and male inhabitants in the state of Illinois to fall pregnant with my spawn.
I felt mildly embarassed, waddled home and played crpg for the rest of the day.
~excerpt from the chronicles of strategus, exact source unknown
