As someone who has put literally thousands of hours into Mount & Blade trying to increase their own personal skill in a competitive fashion, nothing puts more of a bad taste in my mouth than a cheater. Same thing goes for a game like CS:GO. I think people who consistently break rules like teamkilling, strat bug abusing, doublespawning, etc. can detract from the mod, but it largely doesn't impact the overall game and in the end it's not a huge deal. However, when it comes to an autoblocker, something inside me tells me that the cheater is taking something I worked hard for away (I suppose that earlier definition of “to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud” helps get my point across). I understand that this is a game I play for fun and from an outsider point of view, it seems like a relatively idiotic thing to get upset over, but I have a feeling that lots of players who have worked for years to get better at the game can resonate with my sentiment.
What made players like me additionally upset was the fact that you had cheated, been caught, and then became volatile in your retaliation against Tristan. You put on an air of untouchability, like you really didn't do anything wrong and no one was going to punish you for it. You even tried to FT7 him and other ridiculous things and insulted others as well. But in all honesty, I think these were actually natural responses for a couple of reasons:
1) Getting attacked by people and not putting up a defense is extremely hard not to do. People have shit-talked me for years in both banter and spite and I do it back to them (albeit I try to come up with original insults so ridiculous that you can't take them seriously because it keeps you from becoming a vitriolic person). In a weird way, I think I understand the reason why you acted the way in which you did.
2) I think a huge contributing factor was the fact that the admin team was so indecisive about how to handle this situation. I saw the logs firsthand months ago and no one really thought anything of it because you hadn't played in a year, but you ended up coming back and nothing was done to you even though it was immediately revealed in public that you were an autoblocker the day of your return. I think this situation probably could've been avoided if the admin team had punished you rather than let this mess continue to grow. Perhaps I am in part to blame because I was the one who revealed this information.
I'm not writing this to attack you or have an "I toad a so" moment. I think you are both serious and genuine in your apology to the community and to Tristan, and I think it's worth posting a serious response. After all, half of the unban essays on this forum are practically off-topic and unapologetic. You understood your mistakes, addressed them, and apologized for them which is all that anyone could expect from someone in your position. There is no one alive who doesn't do things they regret, and everyone on cRPG is regretful for downloading this mod in the first place. I think that anyone who legitimately holds an angry grudge against you for this eDrama should probably reevaluate the way they look at the world. As tacky as this may sound, I forgive you for what you did. I'm hardly an innocent party in this game, but I can tell that this game matters to you and the things that go on in it are heartfelt. I hate to admit it, but this game has a place in my heart somewhere as well. There's a reason we all still play it.
I think that you should serve some ban time because other players have been dealt a similar punishment for the same crime and it is only fair this way. This is for the admin team to decide.
P.S. I'd also like to address the Duckie audio incident in a spoiler because I know I got some flak from you for it and James was also concerned.
Firstly, I did not record Duckie without his knowledge. I used the Teamspeak voice recorder at the top of the toolbar which announces to the entire channel that someone is recording. I believe this is in contrast to a thread made years ago between Hospitaller and GForce, but my memory may be sketchy. Secondly, I did not invade the potato Teamspeak to antagonize Duckie or his clan. He came of his own will, unprovoked, and began yelling at all of the users in the channel. Though some of the initial conversation was lost, I can assure you that nothing insulting was said to Duckie; the moment was just so absolutely hilarious that half of the guys in the channel couldn't control their laughter, thus the recording. Thirdly, Duckie expressed that he was okay with it being posted (or at least there was a SS of a chat log from Duckie saying that "i don't care"). I don't think what I did was a truly mean spirited thing because it's revolving around Strategus and though there is obviously some fun being made of Duckie because of the ridiculous cRPG threats, I don't think this constitutes as actual bullying of a person due to the fact that I am not trying to doxx Duckie, post IRL pictures to make fun of him, or some other egregious act some people do on the internet. In my book, this falls under just another ridiculous Strategus related shitpost that someone could've made of their own volition on the forums. I hope this clears that situation up, but if anyone reading this still thinks that what I did was wrong, there's nothing else I can really say. If my actions truly offend Duckie then I apologize wholeheartedly and I will take my post down. My intent is not to bully someone, but just poke some fun at our Strategus hijinks.
