Uche Smif - Neo Now [Song]

[lionair112]

I rap and play video games alot, those are my two favorite things by far. I just released a song and would like to present it to the community for to listen to.
My music is mostly dark sounding with me rapping about my life or thoughts, this song in particular is a scenario I orchestrated. In the future I will be making songs about video games I play because...well their fkin great
I appreciate all feedback that I can receive as always try to improve on my pieces.
Theres no rules on off topic so i decided it wouldn't hurt to leave this here, hope some hip hop heads can appreciate.

Song : https://soundcloud.com/uche-smif/neo-now
Soundcloud : https://soundcloud.com/uche-smif
Youtube :

[Asheram]

http://forum.melee.org/general-off-topic/post-your-artwork-ideas-poems-and-songs-here!/

[LordBerenger]

NOW WE GOT PEOPLE TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO THEIR MIXTAPES ON CRPG FORUMS AS WELL! LORD HELP US ALL!

[Bronto]

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

[lionair112]

Instead of posting complaints with internet cliches, could u actually give input on this piece i created?

[Rico]

Instead of posting complaints with internet cliches, could u actually give input on this piece i created?

Have you lost your way, cutie?
You are on the meleegaming forums.

[AntiBlitz]

-your squishing your sentences in a lot, to get them in before the next line
-i feel like you are very flat/monotone in the beginning
-you werent convincing, need to work on that acting
-there seems to be a separation between the rapping and music, as if you are just rapping with music in the background.
-you switched the beat up during your rapping, which helped the song, now do the same for the music playing so that it has a certain cohesion.  Then you wont just have a looping background effect.
-you stayed on topic throughout the song, good job.


There is your criticism, im not much a fan of hip hop, but i try to diversify my music library a bit from time to time.

[Torben]

Youtube : [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/user/lionair112[/youtube]

remove the "s" from https when embedding vids mate.


edit:  embedding only works with vids not channels ^^

[lionair112]

Thanks Torben, i fixed it.

-your squishing your sentences in a lot, to get them in before the next line
-i feel like you are very flat/monotone in the beginning
-you werent convincing, need to work on that acting
-there seems to be a separation between the rapping and music, as if you are just rapping with music in the background.
-you switched the beat up during your rapping, which helped the song, now do the same for the music playing so that it has a certain cohesion.  Then you wont just have a looping background effect.
-you stayed on topic throughout the song, good job.


There is your criticism, im not much a fan of hip hop, but i try to diversify my music library a bit from time to time.

I REALLY appreciate all ur points, a few of them i've heard before and do intend to improve on them. Shoutouts for listening to a genre past ur circle to help a brother out.
But I am here to present the newest song I've released, it's not a conceptual piece but I think I rid myself of at least 3 of the complaints u presented, specifically the flat voice, "acting" and squishing my sentences. So here you go meleegaming, tear me apart if you please, hope you like it.
Song : soundcloud.com/uche-smif/glitch-system

[AntiBlitz]

its a vast improvement from before, great job.  Saw you put Baltimore in your tag thing, are you from there? 

[lionair112]

yessir

[Casul]

Me as a non native english speaker think that its really good overall, tho in comparison to other professional famous american hip hop songs I can sometimes hardly understand what you say. Maybe its just me because its just not my native language, just saying that I really had to concentrate on the text to figure out some sentences.

What I didnt like aswell was the weird "snare" beat sound. (Music was >meh< overall but thats just my different taste of music, I guess you did well on that)

The tune/balance was fine and mastering was good too.

If someone would have told me this track is a recording from a famous hip hop legend (insert random name) I would have believed it.

[Bronto]

For real though, it's not bad. If I were you, I would work on the cadence of your lyrics, not trying to fill every moment with words, and articulation. Don't chop words or ends of words if you're going for a cleaner vocal style, I mean it's definitely not gangsta rap. You talking about wood and nerd shit, not drive-bys and blowing coke off a stripper. Mixing is so hard man, but you're doing a great job. It's hard to balance the voice with the music because sometimes I feel like you're too loud and others it's fine. Good luck.

[lionair112]

thnx for your input guys, hope to smoothen out the problems with future problems, always love to hear how different people hear my pieces. Gives me ideas to improve what I originally couldn't think of, hit me with whatever you got