Put in England:
"England has been invaded at various points throughout its history. Fortunately, every invader mysteriously became English when they took over, thus leaving England undefeated."
"To lose to the bloody French at anything is considered a great dishonour, and anyone who does is immediately exiled off to one of England's dumping grounds like Australia or America ."
"The Chav hoardes infest England. Much like the early nomads would settle by the side of a freshwater stream, Chavs settle in the many car parks of towns possessing a McDonald's or a JD Sports. heavy drug use has caused mutation in the Chav families genes, meaning the modern developed female can process a litter of up to 6 at once, from half as many fathers."
"It is common knowledge that England invented all sports. It is also common knowledge that if the sport turns out to be any good, then England immediately become rubbish at it. England's national sport should not be confused with its religion, football."
