Good evening ladies and gentlemen...
I am a frail old man... forgotten by his family and shunned by those he used to call friends. I am poor and unskilled in all things besides wordplay. There are those of you whom I have fought beside and have bled with; and there are those whom I hope one day to have that chance with. Perhaps I may have saved you once from death by charging into your pursuer with my simple sword and pockets full of rocks. Perhaps you are an unfortunate teammate who I have beaned in the head with one of my errant throws.
No matter who you are - I beseech you. Please. Spare a coin for an old man. I've wasted so much trying out different weapons and armour only to come to the realization that light leather and simple swords tickle my fancy the finest. Regardless, I am saving up to heirloom a weapon (perhaps my espada) in order to better compete with you fine warriors. Any amount you can spare will earn you not only my undying respect and admiration, but perhaps a wistful turn of phrase, or a carefully crafted piece of praise. I've put many of my most precious pet rocks up on the market. They are my friends and allies, and some... not many, but some are stained with the ichor and brain-juices of the unfortunate.
Admonish me for being a lecherous old beggar if you must... but I know no better way.
Yours,
A_Frail_Old_Man
