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General Discussion / Re: Welcome Back Package [150k Gold, 3 Heirloom Points]
« on: November 03, 2021, 03:17:06 am »
Lau
package sent ✔
package sent ✔
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General Off Topic / Re: What are you listening to?
« on: August 09, 2014, 05:34:06 am »3
Spam / Re: Frisian Love Affair
« on: July 18, 2013, 08:55:00 pm »
Once noble Grapes, now dried into petty fraisins.
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Diplomacy / Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« on: July 18, 2013, 03:34:44 am »If you intend to attack our armies in the field, I readily invite such a move. Perhaps we'll even get a large hill to sit our asses on. If not, kindly allow us to attack your villages repeatedly. We've been rather upset that you've not made but a single attack on us after making this thread, so we decided we may take the fight to your doorsteps rather than wait on you. It seemed that you weren't keen on coming after our fiefs; maybe you'll be eager to attack our warbands instead.I've got a four inch and three quarter sized penis, seeming you've not excelled at anything else in life will you pleasure me for money?
Just a quick review, how soft would you say your lips are? On a scale from one to ten, one being non-refrigerated butter and ten being a fifty year old prostitute who refuses to use any form of lip softener.
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Spam / Re: Frisian Love Affair
« on: July 18, 2013, 03:06:27 am »
You guys are perceiving this incorrectly. It is not roleplay, it is a story.
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Spam / Re: Frisian Love Affair
« on: July 18, 2013, 02:38:56 am »That was just lame, not even good roleplay. Where's the dialogue? Where's the spaghetti? No bestiality?Don't hate, masturbate.
Pretty fucking gay though, no doubt about that.
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Spam / Re: Going to war!
« on: July 18, 2013, 02:25:33 am »Probibly cause your acting like your two actually.Probably*
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Diplomacy / Re: The Crusaders of Acre declare war on the satanist Frisians
« on: July 17, 2013, 08:23:10 pm »ACRE Clearly has the advantage here, all we have to do is extend our arms and grab your legs. We'll just let gravity do the rest. ;D
visitors can't see pics , please register or login
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... and all the other things floating around out there / How to beat a dragon in dark souls.
« on: July 05, 2013, 04:12:01 am »
Okay, this is gonna be a one post tutorial on how to beat a dragon in Dark Souls.
First what you need to do is get the magical conch, the magical conch is located at the bottom of Ash's Lake, but before you go there you need the waterproof spade. The waterproof spade is in the tomb of giants, the giant with the scar on his upper left ab has the waterproof spade hidden in his quarters.
You need to interrogate the Giant, when this doesn't work you need to suck him off, I know it sucks, but it's what ya' gotta do. Aheh, sucks... Back to waterproof spade, as payment for you giving him sexual pleasure he will give you the spade.
After you retrieve the spade you go to Ash's Lake and dig it up underwater, grab the conch and go to the surface. Once you get on land you need to blow into the conch, when you do this a Beautiful Goddess will appear. This Goddess beauty is so vast that all men of importance desire to have her. Here is where it gets bloody, every man that has a fighting chance for the Goddess heart has to be brutally murdered.
After killing all of her suitors you need to get the ring of Aphrodite, this ring will make the wearer fall in love with the person who gifted the ring. To find the ring you first need to get to a penis pump. You must go to Western Europe where these are commonly distributed, buy one and use it on yourself for about six months for desired effects. After this you must go meet Aphrodite and ravage her with your enlarged manhood. Now, as everybody who has watched the Percy Jackson films it's quite obvious you get to Mount Olympus through the Empire State Building elevator of Modern Day New York City.
After reaching Olympus and giving Aphrodite a moderately pleasurable experience she will give you her ring in pity due to your small penile situation. You must leave Mount Olympus through the air ducts so to make sure Zeus does not find out you've had sexual relations with his wife. Returning back to Earth you must give the ring to the beautiful Goddess. After receiving this ring, as previously mentioned she will fall in love with you.
After three months of her being a nagging bitch you will propose to her and plan your wedding. At the wedding there will be many guests and many gifts given to you. One will be a magical carpet, this magical carpet is VERY IMPORTANT in your quest to defeat the dragon! After the wedding is your honeymoon, YOU MUST PREFORM TO YOUR MAXIMUM ABILITY FOR DESIRED EFFECTS! Nine months later a baby will be born to you and your wife the beautiful Goddess. This is a very special child, in fact... It's not yours. Zeus has found out that you have had sex with his wife and to get revenge he has had sex with yours!
Although it will put a dent in your marriage and most likely lead to a teenager that has a goat friend and an unhealthy relationship with his horse's ass teacher, he is the weapon that will kill the dragon. After fifteen years of useless attempts at parenting and trying to treat your child normal even though he's a freak who can read Ancient Greek and shoot lightning bolts out of his fingertips, he finally realizes his potential.
You must ask your child to help you defeat the dragon, to which he will less than respectfully decline. This forces you to resort to physical violence and spank him until he obeys. Due to all the other things in your petty life you've forgotten about your quest and put the magic carpet in the basement to collect dust, so you and your son must go down there and dig it up. After digging it up and cleaning it off you need to get on it and fly off. Searching for a while you will eventually run into the dragon, when seeing him you must immediately throw up a West Side gang sign to which the dragon will throw up an East Side gang sign.
After this your son will be enraged and shoot lightning at the dragon. The dragon will go into shock and die of cardiac arrest. After the dragon falls to the ground and dies you must turn around to your son, say the exact words "You're adopted!" and proceed to shove him off of the magic carpet, tying up all lose ends and proving once and for all you are a superior lover compared to Zeus. I hope this helps you defeat the dragon, happy hunting!
First what you need to do is get the magical conch, the magical conch is located at the bottom of Ash's Lake, but before you go there you need the waterproof spade. The waterproof spade is in the tomb of giants, the giant with the scar on his upper left ab has the waterproof spade hidden in his quarters.
You need to interrogate the Giant, when this doesn't work you need to suck him off, I know it sucks, but it's what ya' gotta do. Aheh, sucks... Back to waterproof spade, as payment for you giving him sexual pleasure he will give you the spade.
After you retrieve the spade you go to Ash's Lake and dig it up underwater, grab the conch and go to the surface. Once you get on land you need to blow into the conch, when you do this a Beautiful Goddess will appear. This Goddess beauty is so vast that all men of importance desire to have her. Here is where it gets bloody, every man that has a fighting chance for the Goddess heart has to be brutally murdered.
After killing all of her suitors you need to get the ring of Aphrodite, this ring will make the wearer fall in love with the person who gifted the ring. To find the ring you first need to get to a penis pump. You must go to Western Europe where these are commonly distributed, buy one and use it on yourself for about six months for desired effects. After this you must go meet Aphrodite and ravage her with your enlarged manhood. Now, as everybody who has watched the Percy Jackson films it's quite obvious you get to Mount Olympus through the Empire State Building elevator of Modern Day New York City.
After reaching Olympus and giving Aphrodite a moderately pleasurable experience she will give you her ring in pity due to your small penile situation. You must leave Mount Olympus through the air ducts so to make sure Zeus does not find out you've had sexual relations with his wife. Returning back to Earth you must give the ring to the beautiful Goddess. After receiving this ring, as previously mentioned she will fall in love with you.
After three months of her being a nagging bitch you will propose to her and plan your wedding. At the wedding there will be many guests and many gifts given to you. One will be a magical carpet, this magical carpet is VERY IMPORTANT in your quest to defeat the dragon! After the wedding is your honeymoon, YOU MUST PREFORM TO YOUR MAXIMUM ABILITY FOR DESIRED EFFECTS! Nine months later a baby will be born to you and your wife the beautiful Goddess. This is a very special child, in fact... It's not yours. Zeus has found out that you have had sex with his wife and to get revenge he has had sex with yours!
Although it will put a dent in your marriage and most likely lead to a teenager that has a goat friend and an unhealthy relationship with his horse's ass teacher, he is the weapon that will kill the dragon. After fifteen years of useless attempts at parenting and trying to treat your child normal even though he's a freak who can read Ancient Greek and shoot lightning bolts out of his fingertips, he finally realizes his potential.
You must ask your child to help you defeat the dragon, to which he will less than respectfully decline. This forces you to resort to physical violence and spank him until he obeys. Due to all the other things in your petty life you've forgotten about your quest and put the magic carpet in the basement to collect dust, so you and your son must go down there and dig it up. After digging it up and cleaning it off you need to get on it and fly off. Searching for a while you will eventually run into the dragon, when seeing him you must immediately throw up a West Side gang sign to which the dragon will throw up an East Side gang sign.
After this your son will be enraged and shoot lightning at the dragon. The dragon will go into shock and die of cardiac arrest. After the dragon falls to the ground and dies you must turn around to your son, say the exact words "You're adopted!" and proceed to shove him off of the magic carpet, tying up all lose ends and proving once and for all you are a superior lover compared to Zeus. I hope this helps you defeat the dragon, happy hunting!
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Suggestions Corner / Flaming Arrows?
« on: June 18, 2013, 06:52:10 pm »
I think that Flaming arrows themselves would be kind of overpowered, but if you made it so you had to build some type of siege equipment first, then an archer went up to it WITH a bow and arrows to use it and got flaming arrows back. I think this way it would also make having Siege equipment in Siege and Battle relevant.
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NA (Official) / Re: Ban Request: That guy I ban polled in the Strat Battle and it Passed
« on: April 30, 2013, 03:08:42 pm »
Lau here.
Can't tell if you're talking about me or not this is all confusing me, I don't know why you'd bring me up if it weren't about me. But if it is this is what I have to say.
Didn't break siege equipment, didn't call them pussies. My exact words were "Stop complaining about me charging in and get some common sense and come in with me because we're not getting anywhere with what we're doing" You can blacklist from ever hiring me again, it's the least of my concern when there are plenty of other clans out there willing to do so. 2nd Place on the scoreboard, that is all.
Can't tell if you're talking about me or not this is all confusing me, I don't know why you'd bring me up if it weren't about me. But if it is this is what I have to say.
Didn't break siege equipment, didn't call them pussies. My exact words were "Stop complaining about me charging in and get some common sense and come in with me because we're not getting anywhere with what we're doing" You can blacklist from ever hiring me again, it's the least of my concern when there are plenty of other clans out there willing to do so. 2nd Place on the scoreboard, that is all.
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General Discussion / Re: Patch is bugged
« on: November 25, 2012, 09:05:11 pm »
Thank god it's not just me, I reinstalled Mount and Blade Warband like four times thinking it was me . _ .
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Faction Halls / Re: Red Lotus (RL)
« on: September 26, 2012, 03:40:31 am »
I would like to apply to join Red Lotus I was told to put down the below things.
Steam Name: cutmepainless, I hardly ever use steam.
In Game Name: PickUpNRun
Who Recruited Me:Oda and Vanhohenheim.
My Build: visitors can't see pics , please register or login
I'm fairly close to retirement on my main character so if accepted I'm going to be changing my name to Lau.
Steam Name: cutmepainless, I hardly ever use steam.
In Game Name: PickUpNRun
Who Recruited Me:Oda and Vanhohenheim.
My Build: visitors can't see pics , please register or login
I'm fairly close to retirement on my main character so if accepted I'm going to be changing my name to Lau.
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