Pretty sure it's not something that is entirely fixable in the traditional sense. It has more to do with the limitations of the engine or how something was coded. Just like how they can't add more banner slots.
The only engine limitations that stopped banner slots earlier was that you would need to patch crpg every time a new banner was created. Now that we have the downloader, it is a lot easier to download the new banner files everytime you launch.
Item maximums is most likely a bit harder to fix then that. But I would agree, getting rid of the busted gear would help, or just fief managment outside of your fief. Could be as simple as check boxes of what gear you want in the fight, so if the enemy wins they will still get the equipment not checked off.
As far as banning for the fief lockdown, as far as I know, no one has ever been banned/punished for speculation of locking down a fief to delay. Probably has something to do with the fact that is nearly impossible to determine one way or the other of the intentions. (Thus 14 page threads about it)