Kamikaze_Joe's patient ministrations of +3 Courser have slowly paid off. +3 Courser is finally able to describe what happened that made her temporarily swaybacked.
While held under evil EU control a man visited her in her cell. He was balding and fat. He leered at her in a most vile manner with his crooked teeth. "Here baby, get ready, I'm bringing out all 37 millimeters. Been tugging on this for years to get you those 2 extra millimeters." Despite her fear, +3 courser could do nothing but immediately laugh when the man dropped his trousers (who can blame her after seeing Kamikaze_Joe's third leg every day and then seeing the tiny pinprick that dangled between the ugly man's legs). The man wilted amidst her neighing laughter and began to rage. He pulled out his Maple Syrup colored Longsword and began to beat her with the flat end of the blade. Despite her pain the horse couldn't stop laughing. The man grew erect during his beating (he was one of those guys) and didn't let up until beautiful +3 courser had become swaybacked -2 Courser. As the man walked away dripping tiny driplets of cum like some broken leaky faucet, she heard a white-bearded man in a blue smurf outfit, "Was that really necessary, Aldo?"
P.S. Sorry DRO, the first message got garbled D O was for ALDO we guess not DRO. Don't worry we may not have found the weapons of mass destruction yet, but we will democratize your lands and bring true american values and then return the castle (without the troops).
P.P.S We actually were going for another target, but Aldo guilt-tripped and bugged everyone in MB or in any way related to MB to merc against us even though they lost out on crpg gold, had to switch sides after already signing for us, and some didn't even get the xp because the other side didn't hire them. From what we understand he was telling everyone we would attack him next (we were not planning too, had armies marching for someone else) for why he was doing that. Basically, you just created your own self-fulfilling prophecy for your faction (put you up on that idiotic pedestal along with GRANDMOM of the kalmar union).
We figured that whoever we fight we would have to fight all the mb mercs too because of Aldo. So we would be better off fighting them, then fighting some other group that would just add all their mercs against us as well. It was actually funny, Bale came back from vacation and was like what? We are attacking MB now? You were not in our plans, but hopefully now we can free up some of these afk fiefs for more active factions that actually contribute to strat and also make use of all those built up troops for xp for everyone.
Lets have some great fights and use those troops for some great xp for the community!
Also, REMEMBER FUCKING VELUCA BITCHES!!!
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...but Aldo guilt-tripped and bugged everyone in MB or in any way related to MB to merc against us...
Sounds a lot like someone we all know.
:rolleyes: ... Fuck it though, battles are good for everyone.
Except for me. I'M DYING WITHOUT INTERNET T_T
I thought you quit~!~
I still have my little dot on the strat map!
I don't have actual internet, I'm using my phone's data as a hotspot for my PC right now so I'm limited to 8GBs a month. So while I'm getting ready for the Air Force, I'm still able to help out on strategus for KbW x]
I think we all know what this means.
FCC confirmed for UIF vassal