Strategus => Diplomacy => Topic started by: Sir_Wonka on May 02, 2014, 05:28:02 pm
Title: [OFFICAL][RP][MLG][PRO][SLOTHS]I suppose we were a bit "SLOTHFUL" ...hehehe
Post by: Sir_Wonka on May 02, 2014, 05:28:02 pm
Play this:
Well we didn't to shit to contest our 2 villages that were taken, I don't blame the vagabonds we prolly would of done the same thing "had we been active". We started strat and took those 3 villages. We really didn't do much after that. So now what do we do? We move. The Walmart in the East of Calradia is now closed, that location was bought out by the popular erotica store "Murder Boner". Farewell to our friends in the east (not like we had any). Super duper RETARD RP: It was a cold day near the coasts of the east. The sloths were all asleep in their home tree, Ibiran. The chilled wind rustled across my fur, not yet covered in algae had I no bath in weeks. A messenger from a strange lands appeared at the base of our tree. "Ummm... there appears to be copious amounts of oil under your villages." The strange man said, he was dressed in some sort of camouflage. I had not seen that pattern of camo, whatever type it was it sure didn't match this area. Looked like more of a terrorist slaying ruskie sanctioning type of camo. Having been awoken by this rood intruder on our stoop I could only muster to get a "Huh?" out of my slothy lips before falling back to sleep. I don't know what the man did after that. I thought nothing of it, maybe he wanted some money for a former decorated marine like John Cena http://tinyurl.com/xXm3at5p1nXx. Soon after I had fallen back to sleep.
Strange shit happened that night, "DURHHHHHH DARHH DUHHRRH MPDSAGAFDGDSGDSFGFSD!". Doipy and Cleveland had been sharing the same branch for the past week. They were both wide awake too, "God damn-it WORKING!, what the hell did we tell you about doing that." Working quickly whipped out his...recorder. He started to play a song, it sounded good at first. The song seemed familiar, http://tinyurl.com/WorkingClassSnakeCharmer (http://tinyurl.com/WorkingClassSnakeCharmer). Working was a musical genius in our minds. The music led us all into a trance, we felt gay feelings for each-other once again. This trance took us all back to the past year, it was a blur but we could clearly see a figure standing in front of us. Red hair, and a weaboo name we sat in awe at his feet...
Our dreams were abruptly ended, http://tinyurl.com/UIF-org (http://tinyurl.com/UIF-org). Being the fastest, I slowly climbed to the top of home tree. As I crested the top of our glorious tree I had a clear view of both smaller trees, Chide and Burglen. We had checked on neither in months. At both locations I could see many structures much taller than trees. OIL RIGS! I quickly climbed back down, in my panic I woke baby sloth Squishy Retard up, he had slept through the strange noises, startled and off balance he grabbed a branch near him. It was not a branch, we both noticed that as he plummeted out of his tree to the ground. The next week when we climbed down from the tree, we discovered he was dead. RIP IP squishy retard. He certainly was a retard. In our discussion room we thought about our options. Missing was Packer, he was taking Squishy Retard to the morgue (bless his soul) and Working was trying to fart through his recorder to replicate his musical genius. Weet, well nobody really knows where he was at this time. Although this video surfaced around the time of his departure, http://tinyurl.com/WhatDoestheSlothSay (http://tinyurl.com/WhatDoestheSlothSay). Tuna was off seducing the women with his historical knowledge off in Mango's mango orchards. Leaving just Cleveland and I to discuss things that need discussion in the discussion room. We discussed our current matter, the U.S.A. invading our lands and taking our trees. Just days before we opened a new Walmart location, and not just any Walmart a Walmart SUPERRR CENTRE. "What should we do m'Lord?", Cleveland justly asked. I answered,"Well you fucktard, the only thing we can do as retarded sloths, sit here and act retarded.". After we brought this idea to the sloth democratic council of retards we all agreed to do nothing.
The fate of us sloths in strat looked grim, just then the image from our dreams appeared. Glowing orange hair and strategical know how in his brain. We were saved, once again by the ever lasting nourishment of Keshians teet. We have a new place to call home, a larger tree with many friends within slothing distance. Maybe Working could fulfill his dream of getting married to a Noble squid and making Sqouth babies. I'm sure Dionysus would gladly accept such a courtship. We even have a bit of Packer's EU homeland as our neighbors. Perfect for buying kebabs and removing kebabs http://tinyurl.com/WhyRemoveKebabs. (http://tinyurl.com/WhyRemoveKebabs)Maybe with the replenishment of Kesh the sloths will lead a new life in the West of Calradia. Thanks for reading, sorry if this was too retarded and or not up to ACRE RP standards. My dream is for this to be approved by James himself.