So Aldo made a forum from when he fucked up his computer and ildist got on it and posted this shit (including the title). It's worth a read.
I will tell you fine fellows of the clan Murder Boner a FINE STORY OF GREAT TWISTS, POSSIBLE REVELATIONS ON YOUR PART, AND GAYS.
i don't know im bored and i feel as though aldo would need a stress relief maybe, i'm also high off of TYLENOL CODEIN 30303030303030303030303 that i got from my doctor for surgery.
CHAPTER JUAN:
The great ildist sat upon his throne, dipping his legendary chicken nuggets into the barbeque sauce of gods. As our heroic hero was about to take a bite out of one of the nuggets, he sat back for a moment. Several days before, a foreign scum had sent him a message, however A PROBLEM EMERGED. The message was written with broken english, and Ildist had no tolerance for queers, gays, blacks, spics, tangerine chicken (tastes like asshole), foreigners and especially gays. Ildist sat staring at the writing and suddenly had a BRILLIANT IDEA BECAUSE HE IS BRILLIANT OMG. He hovered a chicken nugget over the document, like a magnifying glass and watched as the bbq sauce on the nugget dripped onto the rough paper, FIXING THE GRAMMAR OF THE FOREIGN RETARD. The document read: "lol u r gey poosyboy, i hab sex wit ur mum xdxdxdxd." (PS I DONT CARE IF IT'S NOT EVEN RIGHT GRAMMAR BBQ SAUCE CAN'T DO EVERYTHING HOLY FUCK) Our hero was furious, he turned to his friend CITRUS.
"BRING MY YELLOW TUNIC MATE, IT'S TIME TO WIPE THE my old friendS OFF THE PLANET."
Citrus nodded, and the great ildist watched as the great black man ran off to do his bidding. But i thought you said ildist had no tolerance for blacks? SHUT THE FUCK UP FUCKING QUEER THIS IS MY STORY HOLY SHIT LEAVE ME ALONE.
The ildist donned his fucking awesome super loomed +3 rape armor and stepped outside for the first time in years. He took a long glance at the great wooden castle that was his home, forged in the 1800s by the slavery and oppression of the orange chicken federation. The mate turned his back on the castle,
"COME CITRUS, IT IS TIME FOR AN ADVENTURE."
Several days later, as the great duo were walking on the road instead of the sidewalk because they were fucking badass rebels, Citrus pointed at something on the hill ahead. Saturnigeria, a man they had met on the road stopped in his tracks, frozen with fear. They had met the man while he was peddling 40 ounces to little kids at 7/11 for double the price.
"OMG ZOMBIES OMG I TINK THEY'RE BEING LED BY DRACULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Ildist teleported to the hill ahead because he's super strong holy shit and the zombies started attacking him. Ildist laughed, shouting his war cry TUPACLIVESFREEKONY420SWAGMONSTERFIGHTMEIRL and revealed his super rape sharingan because he's a ninja from naruto omg wat a twist rite. the awesome ninja lord mate laughed and started dancing around like a fucking blueberry muffin, destroying the zombies like dracula because vampires beat zombies. then dracula approached the mighty lord and showed him his pussy fangs that are like 2 inches long but seem to scare my old friends all the time. THE MATE LAUGHED AND SAID HAH THOSE ARE AS LONG AS MY PENIS. LITTLE DID DARCLUA KNOW THAT ILDIST HAD A SUPER POWER! HAHAAHAHAHAHHA!~123413241 HE WAS ABLE TO MAKE PEOPEL SMELL THINGS THAT WEREN'T REALLY THERE HAUHAAEUHAUHAUH. Dracula smelled garlic and went got scared and died. rip in peace
As our hero was feeling super good about himself over his victory like those shitty queers in crpg who get lucky kill streaks and feel sooper good about themselves omg im elite now xdxdxd. HE SPOTTED A MANSION THAT I FAIL TO HAVE A CREATIVE NAME FOR.
TO BE CONTINUED
And that's it. This was posted in August 2013 so i doubted it would be continued. With this post I hope ildist could finish his autobiography for the sake of the c-rpg community.