cRPG

Strategus => Diplomacy => Topic started by: imisshotmail on February 20, 2014, 11:47:28 pm

Title: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: imisshotmail on February 20, 2014, 11:47:28 pm
I bring a message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe, the Godfather of the GFORCE, the Catastrophe of Napoli.

I am gravely disappointed.
You have made me unleash my soldatos.
Look at what remains of your gallant Goretooth.
Why? Because you're greedy!
You attack us for our crates.

Now, my sources say.
You plan to run us out of the desert.
You sent troops out this morning to find our soldiers.
With an army big enough to "wipe them out".
What a puny plan!
Look around you.
This is the Valley of Death.
See!
Nothing can escape! Giuseppe rules the Desert!
Giuseppe will not be defied!

But we are reasonable men.
We're posting this here for a purpose.
We come with an offer.

There has been too much violence, too much pain in past Strategus'.
None here are without sin.
But I have an honorable compromise.
Just walk away.
Let me have the fiefs.
the goods
the troops
and the whole area, and I'll spare your lives.

Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the desert.
Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
I await your answer.
You have one full day to decide.

Giuseppe.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: mcdeath on February 20, 2014, 11:50:41 pm
I just got off the phone with Ecko and he said that he is coming back to kill off all of these hosp spergs that think they can have the desert. The Northern Empire is to stay in the north and nowhere else. Go back to the steppes where we can all forget about you as you slowly become irrelevant again just like every other strat.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: protox2k on February 20, 2014, 11:52:40 pm
zzzzzz

plz guys it's just strat...
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Goretooth on February 20, 2014, 11:57:02 pm
I bring a message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe, the Godfather of the GFORCE, the Catastrophe of Napoli.

I am gravely disappointed.
You have made me unleash my soldatos.
Look at what remains of your gallant Goretooth.
Why? Because you're greedy!
You attack us for our crates.

Now, my sources say.
You plan to run us out of the desert.
You sent troops out this morning to find our soldiers.
With an army big enough to "wipe them out".
What a puny plan!
Look around you.
This is the Valley of Death.
See!
Nothing can escape! Giuseppe rules the Desert!
Giuseppe will not be defied!

But we are reasonable men.
We're posting this here for a purpose.
We come with an offer.

There has been too much violence, too much pain in past Strategus'.
None here are without sin.
But I have an honorable compromise.
Just walk away.
Let me have the fiefs.
the goods
the troops
and the whole area, and I'll spare your lives.

Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the desert.
Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
I await your answer.
You have one full day to decide.

Giuseppe.
Sounds like you don't want to fight more battles. I do and there is my offer.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: MountedRhader on February 21, 2014, 12:09:02 am
I bring a message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe, the Godfather of the GFORCE, the Catastrophe of Napoli.

I am gravely disappointed.
You have made me unleash my soldatos.
Look at what remains of your gallant Goretooth.
Why? Because you're greedy!
You attack us for our crates.

Now, my sources say.
You plan to run us out of the desert.
You sent troops out this morning to find our soldiers.
With an army big enough to "wipe them out".
What a puny plan!
Look around you.
This is the Valley of Death.
See!
Nothing can escape! Giuseppe rules the Desert!
Giuseppe will not be defied!

But we are reasonable men.
We're posting this here for a purpose.
We come with an offer.

There has been too much violence, too much pain in past Strategus'.
None here are without sin.
But I have an honorable compromise.
Just walk away.
Let me have the fiefs.
the goods
the troops
and the whole area, and I'll spare your lives.

Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the desert.
Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
I await your answer.
You have one full day to decide.

Giuseppe.

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Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Tydeus on February 21, 2014, 12:41:01 am
I realize you don't like me Goretooth, and that's fine, but don't you think it's time to give this grudge up? Any time you attack me when the odds are even remotely fair and shit doesn't go wrong, you get decimated. Even had I not been reinforced, considering the fact that we got a 2:1 k:d, I would have won.

It's time to move on, there's no reason to bring Hospitaller down with you.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Jona on February 21, 2014, 12:56:13 am
All I really got outa that was:

Please don't fight us in this war game.

Giuseppe.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Sandersson Jankins on February 21, 2014, 12:57:30 am
motherfuckers disrespecting the godfather need to check themselves before they shrek themselves

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Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: imisshotmail on February 21, 2014, 12:59:33 am
All I really got outa that was:

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Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Goretooth on February 21, 2014, 01:20:05 am
I realize you don't like me Goretooth, and that's fine, but don't you think it's time to give this grudge up? Any time you attack me when the odds are even remotely fair and shit doesn't go wrong, you get decimated. Even had I not been reinforced, considering the fact that we got a 2:1 k:d, I would have won.

It's time to move on, there's no reason to bring Hospitaller down with you.

(click to show/hide)
Why not keep fighting? I will and it will be fun.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Tydeus on February 21, 2014, 01:37:50 am
Because I'm just a friendly neighborhood trader that has no intention of taking fiefs or going on some sort of crusade. I plan to do the same thing I did last strat, get 2 MWs for selling my army.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Goretooth on February 21, 2014, 01:43:33 am
Because I'm just a friendly neighborhood trader that has no intention of taking fiefs or going on some sort of crusade. I plan to do the same thing I did last strat, get 2 MWs for selling my army.
pretty lame tydeus but should be fun attacking you all strat.
I don't understand all the QQ you won the battle today? i say we keep fighting.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: loleznub on February 21, 2014, 02:45:00 am
I bring a message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe, the Godfather of the GFORCE, the Catastrophe of Napoli.
message from the Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe
Giuseppe, the Lord Giuseppe
Gypsy


The Hospitaller Court Jester, Loleznub, dances forward in circles while singing.


"A Gypsy?  In Jerusalem?!  This surely is a Catastrophe!" 

The Jester turns and prances along back the way he came only to return with a table and a chair.  In his second trip back he brings back a board game, "Alquerques"

"If I win, you must swear vassalage to myself and do the bidding of my will, as should all Musli- Err Gypsys's!  Should I lose, well that won't be happening so we shouldn't worry about that.."

If Loleznub wins:
(click to show/hide)

If Loleznub loses:
(click to show/hide)

If the game is refused/denied
(click to show/hide)


Disclaimer:
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Stabb on February 21, 2014, 03:57:39 am
(click to show/hide)

Wait what... Why is Black Company on there sir!?
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Voncrow on February 21, 2014, 04:16:57 am
Wait what... Why is Black Company on there sir!?

Why not? Blood for the blood god.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on February 21, 2014, 04:42:32 am
Let the following Hospergshitelers be aware!

Gayovich
Gaytooth
Homotree
Queerilize
Gay Eye Ernie
Homo_of_Canada
(and others)


The GFORCE MAFIA is a military spergprotectorate of The GOBBLIN Empire.

Any attacks on the GFORCE MAFIA are tantamount to attacking the EMPEROR himself, and will lead to the swift shitter slappin' of any offenders.

Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Goretooth on February 21, 2014, 04:51:18 am
LOL I already attacked so stop with the warnings and on with the war.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Lt_Anders on February 21, 2014, 04:53:23 am
Boy, that escalated quickly.
(Someone needs to post that jiff, cause i'm a lazy shit.)
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on February 21, 2014, 04:59:58 am
LOL I already attacked so stop with the warnings and on with the war.

prepare to suck my fat green chode, autistmaster 5000

I'd say you're going to lose like your faction has lost every other war its been in since strat 4's beginning, but I'm refraining from saying that to say this instead:

Prepare to lose even harder than all the other wars you've already lost, assboi.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Sandersson Jankins on February 21, 2014, 05:01:24 am
Boy, that escalated quickly.
(Someone needs to post that jiff, cause i'm a lazy shit.)

Does it mean I should be getting disability money for severe autism if seeing that kinda upset me?
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Lt_Anders on February 21, 2014, 05:10:21 am
Does it mean I should be getting disability money for severe autism if seeing that kinda upset me?

Peanut Butter Jelly time, whore. :twisted:
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Havoco on February 21, 2014, 06:27:04 am
So wtf does an Italian mobster clan want with the desert anyways? Prostitution and gambling does not exist there, only sand and stone. The west desert is a religious site.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Tanken on February 21, 2014, 10:13:25 am
Was this supposed to rhyme? I'm confused.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: CrazyCracka420 on February 21, 2014, 07:15:25 pm

(yes I know you said "in b4" Tydeus, but it has to be done). 

We settled in the desert first.  If you want to keep fighting peasant battles that is fine.  We can  burn the world around us as the rest of Calradia builds up their forces.

Goretooth had already attacked before we knew Gobblin (dicks) Empire was protecting them. 
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Spanish on February 22, 2014, 05:37:14 am
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Hey I want a custom name you lesser spergatron.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: MURDERTRON on February 22, 2014, 07:12:03 pm
So wtf does an Italian mobster clan want with the desert anyways? Prostitution and gambling does not exist there, only sand and stone. The west desert is a religious site.

Well, clearly they are Catholic, so you can think of it like the Crusades.
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: AluminumMonster on February 23, 2014, 05:25:33 am
So wtf does an Italian mobster clan want with the desert anyways? Prostitution and gambling does not exist there, only sand and stone. The west desert is a religious site.

last i heard, vegas is has plenty of hookers and gambling. pretty sure its a desert too..
Title: Re: A MESSAGE TO THE HOSPITALLERS
Post by: Rhaelys on February 23, 2014, 06:58:16 am
People being sperglords is the worst thing about Strategus.

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