cRPG

Strategus => Diplomacy => Topic started by: Sauce on February 14, 2014, 10:46:56 pm

Title: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on February 14, 2014, 10:46:56 pm
The Remnants will be clearing ALL diplomacy initiatives from the previous strat.

The Remnants will be supplying Remnant Army Mercenary contracts for any clan(s) under the below guidelines:

- The Remnants supply mercenary armies commanded by qualified Commanding Officers (we do not sell tickets, we like to yell at people ourselves)
- Contracts will have pre-agreed time frames and payment suitable for both parties involved
- Contracts must not interfere with existing diplomacy and active contracts
- We are willing to work with ANY clan and will be accepting the contracts we think will be the most interesting and fun
- and Fun. Remember that?

Contact a Remnant Officer via PM or personal phone sex hotline for more information.

http://forum.melee.org/faction-halls/remnants-(na)/

EDIT : We don't give a shit about territories and alliance handjobs, pay us in crpg gold or gushers.
No, I'm not kidding, and we're not accepting that gusher economy pack bullshit where the gushers are only 2/3's normal size. Our math nerds and diabetes know the difference.

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Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: ArysOakheart on February 14, 2014, 10:47:58 pm
Help me take Fisdnar, for freedom!
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on February 14, 2014, 10:57:47 pm
well im not saying im going to call about the merc contract, but can I pls have the # for the remnant phone sex hotline?
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Life on February 14, 2014, 11:00:00 pm
sure thing, its 1-867-5309
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Techno on February 15, 2014, 01:48:51 am
Quote from: Life on February 14, 2014, 11:00:00 pm
sure thing, its 1-867-5309

I called and set up date with this man

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/1-867-5309?cf=profile_similar
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Life on February 15, 2014, 02:00:03 am
Quote from: Techno on February 15, 2014, 01:48:51 am
I called and set up date with this man

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/1-867-5309?cf=profile_similar
Yep, thats dexxta
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Dexxtaa on February 15, 2014, 05:08:13 am
Shit how did you guys find me. Did you hack my account
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Elindor on February 15, 2014, 07:49:23 pm
Sauce is a nerd.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: dreadnok on February 16, 2014, 06:27:00 pm
Quote from: Dexxtaa on February 15, 2014, 05:08:13 am
Shit how did you guys find me. Did you hack my account

Probably Googled biggest piece of shit slimeball on a dating site ever
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on February 18, 2014, 10:19:31 pm
Holy dick nips, update.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Mae. on February 20, 2014, 09:56:47 am
Signed, or whatever.
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: SP1N on February 21, 2014, 04:40:48 am
Quote from: Sauce on February 18, 2014, 10:19:31 pm
Holy dick nips, update.

new alt name incoming
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Taser on March 13, 2014, 04:33:34 am
Do you guys do um...


*looks down nervously*



S&M orgies?
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 07:14:26 am
Remnants are the most unreliable strat mercs. Why bother wasting gold
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Mae. on March 13, 2014, 03:02:32 pm
haha silly wesley you're not allowed to use the word 'unreliable'.
on a real note, we've showed up for everything we've been contacted about, supplied mercs, and did well. bumped the thread so more would be aware because i've been asked several times since strat has just started picking up.. contact a nerdy officer for details on pricing.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 06:46:13 pm
My Apologies Princess MAE!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: dynamike on March 13, 2014, 08:32:22 pm
Quote from: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 07:14:26 am
Remnants are the most unreliable strat mercs. Why bother wasting gold

Are earthquakes reliable? Are storm floods reliable? Are meteor showers reliable?

We are like natural disasters: not reliable, but fucking devastating.

And you better hope we don't rain down on your sorry ass.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sandersson Jankins on March 13, 2014, 09:19:49 pm
i would like to note that the only reason we won our largish battle today was because of the OGREWHELMING remnerd support that we had.

i would like to rate them a 6.9/10

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Dexxtaa on March 13, 2014, 09:24:01 pm
Quote from: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 07:14:26 am
Remnants are the most unreliable strat mercs. Why bother wasting gold

With 100% completion of our contracts to our clients' satisfaction, I don't think that's a fair statement.

That said, we pro-rate our services based on our attendance to ensure our clients get what they pay for. Further, we just stomped a team full of archers in cloth - so your statement is not only unfair, but also false.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: CrazyCracka420 on March 13, 2014, 09:30:27 pm
Assume you're talking about:  http://c-rpg.net/?page=strategusbattlesarchive#!?page=strategusinfobattleroster&id=533

Nice job
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sandersson Jankins on March 13, 2014, 09:33:00 pm
Quote from: CrazyCracka420 on March 13, 2014, 09:30:27 pm
Assume you're talking about:  http://c-rpg.net/?page=strategusbattlesarchive#!?page=strategusinfobattleroster&id=533

Nice job

Yeah, it was fucking gnarly even with big ole' board shields there isn't much you can do to avoid getting shot when you're 9 players down most of the time. Still, the asstrails, remnerds, frisian my old friends, and other assorted garden variety nerds didn't give up or play stupidly. I think everyone focused their nerd-ire towards archers into their performance.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 09:54:18 pm
That was a great fight. But... You have to remember black company had garbage polearms. Spears change battles.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Mae. on March 13, 2014, 09:58:46 pm
Quote from: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 09:54:18 pm
That was a great fight. But... You have to remember black company had garbage polearms. Spears change battles.

lol nah, they had most odds against them. good players with a good commander make a difference, not itty bitty spears.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 10:12:22 pm
Sorry spears make a huge difference lol. Yes I get what you're saying MAEEEEE! But! Spears are a big game factor in strat.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Mae. on March 13, 2014, 10:17:57 pm
polearms generally have the advantage only when they have the length to go with it.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 10:19:26 pm
lol. I'm done talking to someone who is fucking a SAUCE
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on March 13, 2014, 10:24:13 pm
My shortened spear changes battles and the bedroom.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Bronto on March 13, 2014, 10:43:32 pm
Yeah you probably just spam it really fast like in game and poor Mae doesn't know what hit her. Just that it was light blunt damage with minimal thrust done by a weapon incredibly short.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Taser on March 13, 2014, 10:57:57 pm
Quote from: Sauce on March 13, 2014, 10:24:13 pm
My shortened spear changes battles and the bedroom.

Quote from: Bronto on March 13, 2014, 10:43:32 pm
Yeah you probably just spam it really fast like in game and poor Mae doesn't know what hit her. Just that it was light blunt damage with minimal thrust done by a weapon incredibly short.

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Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Dexxtaa on March 13, 2014, 10:59:00 pm
So far, Wesley, you arguments rely on "equipment," declaring them inferior. Despite the fact that I saw use of fauchards on your team, versus our scythes and unbalanced voulges.

Hence your claims to inferior polearms is also false, given that fauchards are long, and pierce on swing.

Further, your growing reliance on taking personal shots at mae is equivalent to throwing a punch during a civil discussion, which is indicative of being backed into a corner because you realize your supposed "points of argument" are either lies, false, or simply irrelevant to the discussion.

Your weapons were superior during that fight. You packed bows for the Europeans. You had Fur over Mail contending with our light padded heraldic tabards: Cloth.

You had better weapons, armor, bows, and since it's such a focal point of your argument; you also had better polearms. Your force also outmanned us by 9 players.
Your entire strategy comprised of trying to force our melee into charging your feeble lines, then hoping your archers would kill us off before we ripped your melee a new one.

You had every advantage over us, yet you got trampled. The facts are as such, and I feel that you should reconsider personal attacks against people as a way to "win" a discussion you never had a prayer of succeed in. It wasn't gear that was our advantage. It was the fact that we didn't completely rely on European counterparts to carry the battle for us.

It's North America, nerd. Start acting like the culture here and fight your own battles and quit running to your sugar daddy to throw your punches for you.

tl;dr Get shit on, nerds! Hire us and we'll do your shitting for you, too!

edit; you = they
Got caught up in typing don't give enough of a shit to change every single word.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 11:03:31 pm
Sorry Dexx, I used a Voulge once, and we had Scythes not Facuchards.

Edit, Astralis had shortened spears. So little big Chinese Dexxtaa, get to the point next time.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Dexxtaa on March 13, 2014, 11:07:00 pm
Neg I picked a few off your dead bodies, because they're clearly better than scythes/voulges.

Also, for everyone else, I don't believe this is our Remnant_Wesley, who has since moved on from our clan. Because this one is an asshole. And if it *is* the same Wesley, I'm going to just pretend that he died and this other asshole took his account.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 11:08:51 pm
I guess I died.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: HardRice on March 14, 2014, 01:34:17 am
Quote from: Dexxtaa on March 13, 2014, 10:59:00 pm
It wasn't gear that was our advantage. It was the fact that we didn't completely rely on European counterparts to carry the battle for us.

It's North America, nerd. Start acting like the culture here and fight your own battles and quit running to your sugar daddy to throw your punches for you.
We don't have a "sugar daddy." I don't know if you understand this, but Black Company is not an NA branch of an EU clan, we're an NA clan.

A majority of the mercs we've been getting in all of our battles, including this one, have been from WoM/Black Company.

We packed bows for mercs, not the 2-4 euro archers on our side.

There were many more NA mercs than EU mercs at that battle. We didn't rely on EU mercs.


I don't care that we lost, that battle was a shitload of fun to fight in. I do care, however, when you drag us through the mud in this little shit-slinging contest you and Wesley are having.

Also, we had 10 fauchards. The rest were scythes.


Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on March 14, 2014, 02:00:49 am
Thread locked for continuing lack of humor.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on March 17, 2014, 05:41:42 pm
Thread opened with new flavor burst technology.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Wesleysnipes on March 17, 2014, 07:02:13 pm
Yessssss sauce the big boss
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: dreadnok on March 17, 2014, 07:22:09 pm

Pole arms are a pussy cheesedick weapon anyway, so who gives a fuck
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Wesleysnipes on March 17, 2014, 07:55:42 pm
I know they are but very effective, besides, not like you ever top the boards.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Bronto on March 17, 2014, 08:10:21 pm
Closes thread because of Wesley Snipes, second person to post when it reopens...Wesley Snipes...

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Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: PJ1020 on March 17, 2014, 08:32:42 pm
Quote from: dreadnok on March 17, 2014, 07:22:09 pm
Pole arms are a pussy cheesedick weapon anyway, so who gives a fuck

Can confirm, am pussy cheesedick
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: dynamike on March 17, 2014, 08:33:44 pm
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Taser on March 18, 2014, 04:57:36 am
Quote from: dynamike on March 17, 2014, 08:33:44 pm
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."

(click to show/hide)

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Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: dreadnok on March 18, 2014, 06:09:18 pm
Quote from: Wesleysnipes on March 17, 2014, 07:55:42 pm
I know they are but very effective, besides, not like you ever top the boards.

One time I did, but it was a siege so you agi cunts ran into walls and are pretty shitty when you can't back up :(, besides if I actually cared about "topping boards" or being good I certainly would NOT have play to gen 40 as shitty as I am
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on March 18, 2014, 09:31:19 pm
THREAD LOCKED until dread gets 20 plus thingies on his shitty post above me.

Will re-open with brand new "cheesedick" flavor power quench.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on March 26, 2014, 09:23:45 pm
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Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on March 27, 2014, 07:53:22 pm
Gold and Gushers.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: CrazyCracka420 on March 27, 2014, 09:02:23 pm
Fuck yeah!!! Thread finally unlocked, been waiting days for this shit. 

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That's a great pic you got up there saucey
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Taser on March 27, 2014, 09:15:20 pm
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Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on March 27, 2014, 10:19:18 pm
Flavor burst


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Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Noodlenrice on March 27, 2014, 10:22:48 pm
Good ole' Rust
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on March 27, 2014, 10:22:52 pm
THREAD LOCKED until dreads shitty post gets +50.

Will re-open again with brand new cheese injection.
Title: Re: The Remnants Strat 5.0 Diplomacy and Mercenary Contracts
Post by: Sauce on March 28, 2014, 05:11:26 pm
Quote from: Wesleysnipes on March 13, 2014, 07:14:26 am
Remnants are the most unreliable strat mercs. Why bother wasting gold


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gawtem