cRPG

Strategus => Diplomacy => Topic started by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on February 07, 2014, 08:04:47 am

Title: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on February 07, 2014, 08:04:47 am
The following positions need filled:

Quote
Assistant Varsity Girls Softball Coach
Kinesiology Teacher
First Year Chemistry Tutor
Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off
Dean's Assboy
Shekelmaster
Space Jam Coordinator
Dedicated Wrangler of Riran's_Autistic_Son



Please apply with the following format if you want one of the above positions:

Quote
Name:
Age:
Does your dad know you're playing video games?:
Position applying for:
Why should I pick you for the job?:
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Zater on February 07, 2014, 08:09:10 am
Name: Take your pick you know all my names
Age: 21
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: no
Position applying for: Shekel Master
Why should I pick you for the job?: I am the keeper of the shekels
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Duster on February 07, 2014, 08:10:01 am
Officially applying to the position of Dean's Assboy. My qualifications are: having a sweet little goy ass. References: Rubes.

Name: Pibb
Age: 22
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: Yes
Position applying for: Dean's Assboy
Why should I pick you for the job?: I have good ass and can be flex
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: mcdeath on February 07, 2014, 08:11:17 am
Name: Mcdeath
Age: 18
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: Yes
Position applying for: Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off
Why should I pick you for the job?: Fuck Off
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Phantasmal on February 07, 2014, 08:12:25 am
Name: Phantasmal
Age: 21
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: Yes
Position applying for: First year chem tutor
Why should I pick your for the job?: You probably shouldn't
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Petunia on February 07, 2014, 08:13:06 am
Age: WHATEVER I WANT
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: Yeah whatever
Position applying for: Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off
Why should I pick you for the job?: Because FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY. I HATE PEOPLE, AND LOVE TELLING THEM TO FUCK THE FUCK OFF. I'M LIKE RON SWANSON, IF HE DIDN'T BOTHER CENSORING HIMSELF.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: cfuvue on February 07, 2014, 08:24:13 am
Name: Internet_Explorer
Age: 20
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: Yes
Position applying for: Fill
Why should I pick you for the job?: I don't know why.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Artyem on February 07, 2014, 08:49:53 am
Name:  Dracul_Artyem
Age:  12
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: ghost dad
Position applying for:  Space Jam Coordinator
Why should I pick you for the job?:  do I even play this game anymore? whatever, space jam.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awkUfIjl1R0
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Holiday203 on February 07, 2014, 09:13:49 am
Name: Holidayz_of_the_SQUID
Age:23
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: No, but my girlfriends do.
Position applying for: Space Jam Coordinator
Why should I pick you for the job?: I can cancel Christmas
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Canuck on February 07, 2014, 06:31:33 pm
Name:Canuck
Age:18
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: Dad? Are you out there?
Position applying for: What the fuck are these jobs even for
Why should I pick you for the job?: Labour laws say you have to
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: dynamike on February 07, 2014, 09:34:16 pm
Name: dyna
Age: 5.47722557505^2
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: He calls me a nerd
Position applying for: Assistant Varsity Girls Softball Coach
Why should I pick you for the job?: I have Soft Balls and like Girls Ass
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Sauce on February 07, 2014, 11:05:59 pm
Name: Sauce
Age: Old as fuck
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: His belt does
Position applying for: Space Jam Coordinator
Why should I pick you for the job?: I want to sit in a room with Anders playing nothing but Mumford and Sons until one of us swallows a bullet. It's him or me this time.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Lt_Anders on February 07, 2014, 11:16:23 pm
Name: Sauce
Age: Old as fuck
Does your dad know you're playing video games?: His belt does
Position applying for: Space Jam Coordinator
Why should I pick you for the job?: I want to sit in a room with Anders playing nothing but Mumford and Sons until one of us swallows a bullet. It's him or me this time.

Sadly, I am Half death. I do believe you will bite the bullet long before I bite the dust.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Sandersson Jankins on February 07, 2014, 11:18:49 pm
Sadly, I am Half death. I do believe you will bite the bullet long before I bite the dust.

Why would you even say something like that? C'mon, I know you can do better, Anders.

I'm giving that post a 1/10, and that's the best I can do. Come talk to me after class about your lack of motivation and effort.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Lt_Anders on February 07, 2014, 11:24:50 pm
Why would you even say something like that? C'mon, I know you can do better, Anders.

I'm giving that post a 1/10, and that's the best I can do. Come talk to me after class about your lack of motivation and effort.

Wow I was supposed to say deaf. Oh well. I can't hear shit, generally.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: mcdeath on February 07, 2014, 11:45:11 pm
Sadly, I am Half death. I do believe you will bite the bullet long before I bite the dust.
Wow I was supposed to say deaf. Oh well. I can't hear shit, generally.

I just called Anders and he said he is making a ban thread because those two posts were just god awful.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: dreadnok on February 08, 2014, 05:56:25 pm
Name:Fuck off
Age:Fuck you
Does your dad know you're playing video games?:Fuck him too
Position applying for:Dean for telling people to fuckoff
Why should I pick you for the job?:its the only skill i have in IRL and the virtual world
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: MURDERTRON on February 08, 2014, 06:11:25 pm
Can I be head treasury embezzler?
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Sauce on February 08, 2014, 06:59:59 pm
You win this time, Anders...
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: dreadnok on February 08, 2014, 08:40:07 pm
You win this time, Anders...


when doesn't the ban lord win sauce?
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Lord_Bernie_of_Voodoo on February 08, 2014, 09:18:52 pm
Name: Berndog Clobbingshire
Age: 17, tender enough for a gobblin fucking.
Does your dad(s) know you're playing video games?: No, they don't.
Position Applying For: Dean's Assboy
Why should I pick you for the job?: #3 NA polearm, Ripe, young age, #1 NA jazz musician, i'm blonde/blue eyed.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: dreadnok on February 14, 2014, 08:47:50 pm
I am accepted or what? I'm tired of this shit
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on February 14, 2014, 10:45:55 pm
Accepted/denied list will be posted today.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: ildist on February 15, 2014, 01:44:11 am
ur a shitlord
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: dreadnok on February 15, 2014, 02:49:07 am
Accepted/denied list will be posted today.

Well today is right now motherfucker! I knew I shouldn't of quit my job at GameStop, my fucking life down the drain
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on February 15, 2014, 03:50:33 am
Applicants can check below to see where they have been accepted. Holiday was the only person denied from a position, and Petunia or Dreadnok can be in charge of telling him what to do about.

Assistant Varsity Girls Softball Coach - Dynamike
Kinesiology Teacher - Canuck
First Year Chemistry Tutor - Phantasmal
Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off - Petunia
Dean's Assboy - Duster
Shekelmaster - Zater
Space Jam Coordinator - Artyem
Dedicated Wrangler of Riran's_Autistic_Son - Havelle (sry sum1 needed to take job :/)

Newly made jobs for the excess of applicants:

Tsundere little boy: McDeath
Dedicated Wrangler of Anders: Sauce
Official Foreman of the D/Backup Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off: Dreadnok
Master Race Little Boy Husbando/Backup Dean's Assboy: Bernie
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: dreadnok on February 15, 2014, 05:21:17 am
Finally something I'm good at!
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: dynamike on February 15, 2014, 07:16:54 pm
So, I am taking my assignment as Assistant Varsity Girls Softball Coach serious. I just found my job description online:
http://www.applitrack.com/lakeridge/onlineapp/JobPostings/view.asp?all=1&AppliTrackJobId=482&AppliTrackLayoutMode=detail&AppliTrackViewPosting=1&ref=indeed.com

And I have a few comments and questions, marked below in red:

Quote
Assistant Varsity Softball Coach    JobID: 482
 
Position Type:   Share on facebookShare on twitterShare on emailMore Sharing Services0

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Print Version
Closing Date:
01/31/2014
  Athletics/Activities/Assistant Varsity Softball Coach
Date Posted:
  1/24/2014
Location:
  Calumet New Tech High School
Date Available:
  02/03/2014
DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES:             The High School Girls' Assistant Softball Coach will:
 
Assist Head Coach with a pre-season conditioning program. diggity
Coach positions that are assigned by the Head Coach. diggity!
Oversee all necessary equipment that needs to be taken to practice and games. diggity?
Accompany girls to all softball games, both home and away. diggity diggity aaaall right!
Attend to all injuries that occur in practice and games until parents or medical personnel can be contacted. nah, unless diggity related
Fill out injury reports on all injuries and give a copy to the Athletic Director. could very well be diggity
Assist the Head Coach with all statistical information. will assist only in head
Attend Softball Clinics when applicable in an effort to improve the Girls' Softball Program. more like soft spot

Please confirm revisions.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: Phantasmal on February 15, 2014, 07:59:17 pm
Applicants can check below to see where they have been accepted. Holiday was the only person denied from a position, and Petunia or Dreadnok can be in charge of telling him what to do about.

Assistant Varsity Girls Softball Coach - Dynamike
Kinesiology Teacher - Canuck
First Year Chemistry Tutor - Phantasmal
Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off - Petunia
Dean's Assboy - Duster
Shekelmaster - Zater
Space Jam Coordinator - Artyem
Dedicated Wrangler of Riran's_Autistic_Son - Havelle (sry sum1 needed to take job :/)

Newly made jobs for the excess of applicants:

Tsundere little boy: McDeath
Dedicated Wrangler of Anders: Sauce
Official Foreman of the D/Backup Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off: Dreadnok
Master Race Little Boy Husbando/Backup Dean's Assboy: Bernie

What is my yearly salary? Do I get benefits and a 401k? If not, I may have to be slumming it on the streets.
Title: Re: THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications
Post by: SP1N on February 21, 2014, 04:45:58 am
N1PS is now a GOBBLINETTE. I will follow the command of the GOBBLIN EMPEROR as long as it doesn't conflict with my daily routine and tea time.