As the sun rises, first rays of light gently paint the vast meadows surrounding the eastern forests into a soft yellow, unfortunately not soft enough for the burdened eyes of the man awakening to them, awkwardly shading his face... He is alone but for his loyal donkey, with whom he has shared more than most people experience in a lifetime. His hands forcefully caress the soft grey fur of his companion's neck, digging deep into the hairy isolation against the cool breeze that blows through this autumn landscape. Do not worry fellow readers, for this story will not end up being a tale of zoophilia and radiators, hopefully.
"The only thing more gay than these things is the fact that they're always so popular" cried Xant as he engaged in gay sex. They were running day and night for several days, as their fear of being caught by a local gang of savage rapists, lead by infamous Xant, was giving them inhuman strength, only comparable to Xant's unyielding lust for genitalia!
"I never asked for this" Thought Xant, remembering the peaceful and slow days as a young child, before he killed and raped his grandmother. But then Xant started to preach about multiculturalism ruining the scandinavian countries and sieg heiling. Though it wasn't the ruining of multiculturalism of Scandinavia or the Sieg Heiling that he treasured the most but the late-night discussions about logic at the camp fire with his men. They would usually talk about all the dicks they had seen and how they had pleasured Xant's baby penis after a successful night of raping.
Rape and plunder wasn't his only concerns that night when he let his eyes wander along the horizon with the moon raising behind it. His main concern, was the capture of two runaways: a trapeze acrobat and his donkey, who were a property of Xant's little brother - Xant Jr, the owner of the "Einstein's Chocolate Chip Cookie" Circus.
''They logically can't have run away you retard, your argument is invalid, let me outline the logical reasons why they're still here'' Xant shouted at the empty cell, which remained empty despite his best logic. Xant flexed his muscles and a vain in his forehead came out shaped like a penis, noticeably larger than his real penis. "All is good friend" a tall grown figure had stepped out of the darkness behind him, laying his heavy hand on Xants shoulder, continuing in a deep, reassuring voice: "Come sit by the fire with us and let me refurbish your nail varnish."
Something remotely resembling a smile, twitched Xant's beastly features, as he heard the familiar voice: his mother was already preparing the bright pink varnish, and unfolding her wrinkled saggy breasts - the favorite source of Xant's nourishment.
''And no more raping for today, little rascal, remember we have a dentist appointment, your teeth are hurting me too much lately.'' Said Xant's mother.
"Nerds" said the aged warrior waradin, turning his back to his fellow rapists, deeply sore - for no one had asked to color his nails in that darling candy pink. Noone fights in real life anymore, he continued his hissy fit to the gathered band of forceful anal explorers. They start by searching for a lost ring that Waradin had inserted in his anus while escaping the royal chambers of count Choke A-lot. Waradin was afraid that the ring might give him anal mushrooms. Many of the anal explorers tried to pull the ring out, but no one could find it, was it a silly excuse for Waradin just to get a rim job? This, at least, was went through Radiator's mind, the gangs warmest brother.