cRPG

Strategus => Diplomacy => Topic started by: dynamike on September 27, 2013, 05:37:11 pm

Title: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: dynamike on September 27, 2013, 05:37:11 pm
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*DERPCHEETOS CASTLE*

Head's off up:
visitors can't see pics , please register or login

- Castle under new management -
- Updated discounts and prices -
- Now with upgraded RAM (http://forum.melee.org/diplomacy/the-remnant-army-mercenary-decree-(get-ramd)/) -
- Same filthy Chesty -


Plenty of SD to be had and only the finest whores wares!

Conveniently located in the FCC/Chopas/SKoT triangle, Derpcheetos is your one-stop-shop for a true medieval fashion and tools shopping spree.

We got the goods, get them while they are fresh! Come one, come all!

We offer entertainment for the whole family: markets, brothels, taverns and torture chambers! Bring your wench to frolick in one of our convenient private haystacks or let your knaves beat each other to a bloody pulp in our arena!

*** We are constantly expanding our inventory and currently have a surplus of SD! ***

For a limited time only: sell your goods and choose between a complimentary "KFC" (Kesh Fan Club) bucket meal OR volume 5 of Daruvian's bestseller: "Kesh - kill it with fire"*


*Limited time offer, may change without notice. No purchase necessary. Gobblins must be accompanied by an adult. The Remnant faction does not take responsibility for damages to anal cavities and other cheetos related injuries



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Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: CrazyCracka420 on September 27, 2013, 06:46:45 pm
Lol mamlukes (large warhorse best warhorse)

Otherwise some nice gear
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: Matey on September 27, 2013, 06:53:22 pm
Quote from: CrazyCracka420 on September 27, 2013, 06:46:45 pm
Lol mamlukes (large warhorse best warhorse)

Otherwise some nice gear

Dead horses best horses.
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: Aderyn on September 27, 2013, 07:06:02 pm
I'd come shop if the tax wasn't so high =)
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: dynamike on September 27, 2013, 07:44:46 pm
Quote from: Aderyn on September 27, 2013, 07:06:02 pm
I'd come shop if the tax wasn't so high =)

My friend, shopping at Duurpcheetah's is not about price - it's about value!

Buy those weapons somewhere cheap?
Save on those armors, hoping the foe will not find the holes?
Who needs 4 legs on a horse?

Shop somewhere else first else and you will come to us later, wishing you had done so in the first place  :wink:
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: Aderyn on September 27, 2013, 08:18:57 pm
it's just that 0% discount or 5% total discount isn't really worth it ^^ sorry to break your "bargain" but buying large quantities are better bought with 30-40% discount.


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Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: Chestaclese on September 27, 2013, 10:12:07 pm
Whores is a typo, it should read whore, as in one. Mamlukes are for pros only, non street legal. The large warwhores is the honda civic of crpg.
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: dynamike on October 18, 2013, 08:25:36 pm
Head's off up:
visitors can't see pics , please register or login

- Castle under new management -
- Updated discounts and prices -
- Now with upgraded RAM (http://forum.melee.org/diplomacy/the-remnant-army-mercenary-decree-(get-ramd)/) -
- Same filthy Chesty -

OP updated.
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: Gmnotutoo on October 19, 2013, 01:38:22 am
:P Dyna, you've been out-marketed. +3 Plated Chargers in New Mechin at 35% discount, but when comparing taxes it turns out I'm selling my horses at 694 gold and you sell your horses at 640 gold. 50 more gold and you get a better horse at my place.
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Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: SP1N on October 19, 2013, 08:10:07 am
Come to my place at my old friendush and pick up some Exotic Kittens. Derpcheetos needs a bigger variety of kittens and I've got all the exotic breeds you can shake a stick (with a fuzzy ball attached by string) at.

But really, I got a bunch of cats here and science hasn't come far enough to spay and neuter yet. I got sick German cuisine too, Pretzelkraut galore.

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*This shameless self-promotion brought to you by Bob Barker. rip in peace, one dolla bob.
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: Kirbyy on October 19, 2013, 08:45:51 am
I'm cuming for the military forks.  That's it.
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: dynamike on October 21, 2013, 04:27:05 am
Quote from: Gmnotutoo on October 19, 2013, 01:38:22 am
:P Dyna, you've been out-marketed. +3 Plated Chargers in New Mechin at 35% discount, but when comparing taxes it turns out I'm selling my horses at 694 gold and you sell your horses at 640 gold. 50 more gold and you get a better horse at my place.
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Plated Chargers? You mean the least ninja like fat ass sea cows that can hardly call themselves horses? Says the one Plated Charger to the other: "Your dick's so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.".

Ninja please!  :wink:
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: Gmnotutoo on October 21, 2013, 06:34:05 am
Quote from: dynamike on October 21, 2013, 04:27:05 am
Plated Chargers? You mean the least ninja like fat ass sea cows that can hardly call themselves horses? Says the one Plated Charger to the other: "Your dick's so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.".

Ninja please!  :wink:

Its obvious people and horses that crutch on heavy/plate armor are compensating for something.  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: Mae. on October 21, 2013, 06:02:50 pm
English bills please, do it.
Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: dynamike on October 23, 2013, 03:56:35 pm
Quote from: maeday on October 21, 2013, 06:02:50 pm
English bills please, do it.

M'lady, your wish is my command.

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

This is Bill. He is English by birth and halfwit by choice. He also looks like Chesty's ginger cousin.

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Title: Re: Derpcheetos Castle - Open for Business
Post by: Chestaclese on October 24, 2013, 01:25:16 am
Good to see Bill again and that he's doing alright.