cRPG

cRPG => General Discussion => Topic started by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on July 30, 2013, 06:26:48 am

Title: Good fight scrubs
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on July 30, 2013, 06:26:48 am
EU players and people who don't know me, don't bother reading further.

Alright nerds, I'm making some note somewhere that I am leaving the game for some amount of time ranging between "a little while" and "forever". Only making a note because I believe that I am a part of this community and it would be rude to not say goodbye. I do not require internet dick sucking or posed lamenting at my leaving, and do not expect much of it anyway because I have spent all of my time (much to my great enjoyment) acting like a total asshole for a long time. I do not regret any of my acting like an asshole, and I am not leaving because of anything within the game like its players, shitty half-developed Strategus, or the fact that cavalry is too hard these days. My only regret is that perhaps my name won't be as revered for being an asshole as Spook or FarmerNate.

Also Kesh and Miley don't celebrate too hard.

Later nerds. Have fun with your internet swords and horses. Feel free to bring no creativity to the table and type "gf" or "rekt" in the reply box.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Aleskander on July 30, 2013, 06:33:50 am
rekt
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Palurgee on July 30, 2013, 06:36:45 am
Dearest Daruvian,

Though I am new to Frisia, I looked up to you as a great leader and fun asset to every strategus battle. Behind all of the reported teamwounds and trash talking I admired your ability to remain calm and (in most cases) take it in good humor. While other players follow the trails of others, you paved your own trail -- and though a trail primarily composed of hate -- it is the principle that counts. May your real-world travels be as characteristic as those you had in cRPG. Cheers to my favorite 1h cav.

Looms please.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Little Lord Lollipop on July 30, 2013, 06:39:49 am
gf
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Duster on July 30, 2013, 06:47:00 am
lemme get those looms tho
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Smoothrich on July 30, 2013, 06:49:18 am
here I'll say it for everyone:

fuck you friend

(see you in troll hell)
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Ramza on July 30, 2013, 06:52:00 am
Cya next week.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: TheAppleSauceMan on July 30, 2013, 07:25:53 am
rip in peace
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Miley on July 30, 2013, 08:02:51 am
Bye Daruvian I don't hold anything against you and if you don't come back good luck with everything in life and don't die.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: raccoonlord on July 30, 2013, 08:27:46 am
ok
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Dionysus on July 30, 2013, 11:19:11 am
Don't forget to bring a weapon to our next fight.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Tore on July 30, 2013, 12:23:53 pm
looms pls
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: oohillac on July 30, 2013, 02:30:39 pm
lol

try downblocking next time nerd

gf gf
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: StonedSteel on July 30, 2013, 03:39:28 pm
"and I am not leaving because of anything within the game like its players, shitty half-developed Strategus, or the fact that cavalry is too hard these days"

I am

....we asked for fixes....and got donkeys...im done

Hopefully see a lot of you when Bannorlords come out, hopefully i see none of the Teuton \ AoW people

Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Phantasmal on July 30, 2013, 04:02:57 pm
All hail Daruvian, the greatest sperglord of our age.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Aldogalus on July 30, 2013, 04:19:38 pm
Daruvian,

    I wish you the best in your future endeavors, but not because i care about your future, but because when you make your inevitable return to this game, I hope you come back as a happier, more mature being. As opposed to the angsty, projecting, little rage baby that you have been the past year or so acted like for the past year.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: KaMiKaZe_JoE on July 30, 2013, 04:53:41 pm
I wrote you a good-bye story. Luckily I have plenty of down-time at work today.

Joe sat on his horse with the rest of the cavalry, waiting for Kesh's signal. He stared at the back of the woman's unhelmed head, distracted by her glorious locks. They glowed like fire in the sun. He wondered if her nether regions were similarly maned.

A sudden movement. Kesh's hand rose, and Joe along with the rest of the cavalry charged through a breach in the castle wall, crushing their own infantry in the process. Cav always have the right of way.

Joe sallied forth with his fellows, now plunging through the enemy ranks. He skewered an archer with his trusty lance before popping out the ass-end of the enemy's formation. Like poop.

Everything was chaos. He couldn't see any friendly cavalry.

He braced himself to charge back through the enemy formation, ready to kill a dozen more men, because this time their backs would be to him--he would be fighting a familiar battle now.

Then, suddenly, something hit him really hard in the fucking head. It knocked him sideways out of the saddle, his world spinning. His foot caught in the stirrup. He dangled, half hanging, half lying on the ground, looking up at the sky. His horse just stood there.

A mounted figure appeared between him and the blue. It was a familiar face. "Good fight, Joe," Daruvian, King of the Frisians said from above. He was looking down at him with a little smile, twirling a spavalthakalakaiono.

Joe spat out a tooth. "Frisian Freedom huh? More like Frisian my old friendg--"

Daruvian slapped Joe's horse, and the beast flew away from the battlefield.
-------------------------------------------

Later that evening, Joe was sitting in the keep of the same castle, sipping cocoa before a blazing fore. WITCHCRAFT sat beside him, sipping scotch in a beanbag chair.

Joe sipped. The hot drink and burning logs all reflected his temper--he was angry, hot, raging inside at his defeat.

WITCHCRAFT, sipped. "Joe," she said, her voice startlingly male, "We all lose eventually."

"But he's so fucking bad."

"I know," WITCHCRAFT said, "I Know."

Joe felt his face go hot, and his throat clench. "I must have my revenge," he choked out, a half sob. He dropped his teacup. It shattered on the stone floor. Tears and cocoa pooled at his feet.

He felt WITCHCRAFT's hand on his shoulder. "C'mon man, don't cry."

Joe sobbed something incoherent.

"Yeah sure," WITCHCRAFT said. Joe felt the reassuring hand disappear. "Joe, how about I help you out? I'll cast a spell maybe..."

Joe sniffed, hope causing his heart to flutter. "Can you make him go away WITCHCRAFT?"

"Why are you yelling?" WITCHCRAFT said. "And yes, yes I can Joe. We'll make the big bad Daruvian go away.
-----------------------------------------

Daruvian was in his room, sitting at his computer. Horses and men clashed on the screen in a medieval simulation, of sorts.

He sipped an apple martini, careful not to spill the full glass. He smiled. It was pretty good, for a first try. A little too strong, for something that you'd drink in your room for the taste of it, but still good.

He set the glass back down on his desk, preparing for a new round to begin.

A sudden trembling sent the green liquid rippling. The house shook.

He frowned, still in his seat, his hand now clutching the drink to keep it from falling. Was this an earthquake?

Another tremor, this time stronger. Daruvian moved to stand up.

Another tremor, this time strong enough to knock him off balance. He fell back in his chair, spilling his drink in his lap. He cursed, but a terrible rumbling overwhelmed his voice. Suddenly, the air pressure changed, and his ears popped as if he were in an airplane about to land.

Then there was a massive roar. The house rocked and groaned. The roof was peeled away by some terrible force, exposing Daruvian's room to a grey and cloudy sky. The wind was whipping him backwards, pushing him into his chair and pushing the chair into the desk.

Then the wind let up and a bright light flashed, blinding Daruvian for a full minute. When it relented, he pried his burning eyes open again to see two figures hovering above his room, where the roof should have been. They were fully naked men, built like gods, their nipples erect and their eyes glowing with some ethereal power.

One of them spoke, his voice as deep as the ocean. "Daruvian, we have come for you."

"Holy shit, please don't kill me!"

"Death is merely a transition, Daruvian."

Daruvian, shaking in his chair, tried to explain: "That's not my real--"

"Dicks, dicks, dicks," the other man said. He stroked himself.

The other, other man said, "You are being taken to a place where you'll be happier. You like dick, right?"

He was right, but Daruvian wouldn't have chosen to phrase it in quite that way. "Sorry?"

"Your clan. Frisia. They profess a love for dick. You're gay. We have been called to take you with us to a place of eternal, homosexual bliss."

That didn't sound so bad. Clearly, he didn't have a choice. "Will I even get to say goodbye? To my family?"

"You may say goodbye to your internet family." The naked man gestured with a well muscled arm towards the computer, still intact despite the destruction surrounding it. "Type your message."

Daruvian pulled his chair up to the desk, he raised shaky hands to the keyboard and typed his good-bye. It took a few minutes. He knew that the cRPG community wouldn't quite get it--he was vague, intentionally. He had a persona to fulfill. The trolling was the best part of it all, really.

He stood. "I'm done. I'm ready to ascend."

One man said, "Dicks, dic--."

The other man said shushed his partner. He turned to Daruvian. "Good. Take my hand."

Daruvian did so. It was strong, and warm. He liked it.

Both men began chanting. "Dicks, dicks, dicks, DICKS, DICKS, DICKS..." They got louder, and louder, until their cries echoed through Daruvian's very being. There was a trembling, and a bright white flash, and he was gone. [/i]
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: bagge on July 30, 2013, 05:02:45 pm
Top 5 NA gays guys. Have fun :wink:
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Clockworkkiller on July 30, 2013, 07:00:19 pm
Quote from: StonedSteel on July 30, 2013, 03:39:28 pm
"and I am not leaving because of anything within the game like its players, shitty half-developed Strategus, or the fact that cavalry is too hard these days"

I am

....we asked for fixes....and got donkeys...im done

Hopefully see a lot of you when Bannorlords come out, hopefully i see none of the Teuton \ AoW people


:O
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Macropus on July 30, 2013, 08:32:06 pm
Wat, since when is 1h cav hard?
Ah whatever, good luck and give loomz.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Gmnotutoo on July 30, 2013, 08:46:05 pm
No matter how hard you tried you never could surpass the FCC in terms of gayness, but when you return I know you will accomplish your dream.

FCC TS currently has 200+ people in their gay server group, mostly because of me. Snoop removed my team-speak admin for a two weeks because of all the people complaining about being gay. it isn't my fault  that they are and I exposed them, I just want them to be honest with themselves. :/

I'll play dota with you guys again someday I swear, its just that I'm addicted to all the new steam games I got from the sale. Until then enjoy your break from c-rpg, I've gone through two thus far and it really does help.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: CrazyCracka420 on July 30, 2013, 08:54:07 pm
Great now I'm going to have the chant "Dicks dicks dicks dicks, dicks dicks dicks dicks, da da dicks da dicks!" stuck in my head (said like the cadence of the chants leading up to "Charge!" in a baseball game).

Thanks Joe!

To Daruvian:  Yiff in hell furmy old friend

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Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: betard_lulz on July 30, 2013, 10:33:40 pm
lol im leaving threads are so gay
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Kelugarn on July 30, 2013, 11:06:24 pm
I made one for SHinOCK so I made one for you.

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Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Holiday203 on August 01, 2013, 12:09:16 pm
Quote from: StonedSteel on July 30, 2013, 03:39:28 pm
"and I am not leaving because of anything within the game like its players, shitty half-developed Strategus, or the fact that cavalry is too hard these days"

I am

....we asked for fixes....and got donkeys...im done

Hopefully see a lot of you when Bannorlords come out, hopefully i see none of the Teuton \ AoW people

Do we make the game so hard for you with our "Godly Skillz"? Anyways good thing Daruvian is gone because I'm about to be a horse archer.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Dach on August 02, 2013, 06:36:57 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23ND3FKlT_k (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23ND3FKlT_k)

Anyway, who'll be back sooner than you think...  :lol:
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Testicleez on August 02, 2013, 11:07:02 pm
Good luck... And remember, Seize The Day!

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Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Malaclypse on August 03, 2013, 12:16:07 am
Looks more like Carpe Noctem.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: obitus on August 03, 2013, 12:43:49 am
 :|

community enhancement through songwriting buddy
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Gristle on August 05, 2013, 05:22:45 pm
You did everything you could to be as shitty of a person as possible.

http://youtu.be/cHcunREYzNY
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Carac on August 05, 2013, 08:29:30 pm
Daruvian was like a father to me.













































jk fuck u gf
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Maple_Syrup on August 05, 2013, 08:51:00 pm
bye daruvian. you were never as good as me and never will be. see you on the news in 6 months when u go on a mass killing spree. <3
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Fredom on August 05, 2013, 10:19:18 pm
Goodbye. Good luck in your future. We won't forget you (will we? :P)
The hope dies lastly so, lets hope to see you again :)
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: dreadnok on August 05, 2013, 11:22:29 pm
you were a great team player and superb cav teammate, even tho you yelled at me one time because you tked me because of shitty game mechanics
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: cup457 on August 05, 2013, 11:29:58 pm
ty 4 making me a better cav player when i sang 2 u. good times
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Carac on August 05, 2013, 11:49:08 pm
cup more like poop gotm
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Jack1 on August 06, 2013, 12:48:50 am
If anybody in the real world tells you your worthless, an idiot, or just plain gay. Believe them, there right. my old friend.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Scervo on August 06, 2013, 01:18:04 am
luls he is already back
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: CrazyCracka420 on August 06, 2013, 05:28:35 pm
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Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Sparvico on August 07, 2013, 03:41:43 am
The only way Daru is ever leaving cRPG is in a body bag. That nerd.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: dreadnok on August 07, 2013, 04:07:36 am
who the fuck isnt a nerd?!?!?!
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Apollo on August 07, 2013, 06:57:43 am
dread is a my old friendotini   8-)
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Zaren on August 07, 2013, 07:16:49 am
Quote from: Daruvian on July 30, 2013, 06:26:48 am
Later nerds.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: dreadnok on August 07, 2013, 07:32:15 am
thats spaghetti apollo you dorkiedo
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on August 07, 2013, 08:55:37 am
Quote from: Sparvico on August 07, 2013, 03:41:43 am
The only way Daru is ever leaving cRPG is in a body bag. That nerd.

You and me and him and everyone else. Daru is a jerk but he is a funny good-natured jerk. Wouldn't want to see him disappear.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Neggaz on August 07, 2013, 11:30:53 pm
this fuck isnt really gone he just wanted his D suck again
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Aldogalus on August 08, 2013, 05:16:14 am
called it
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Socks on August 08, 2013, 05:21:52 am
Quote from: Daruvian on July 30, 2013, 06:26:48 am
Alright nerds

Later nerds.
(click to show/hide)

gf.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: CrazyCracka420 on August 08, 2013, 04:09:30 pm
Well he made it over a week before breaking down, that's pretty damn good
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: KaMiKaZe_JoE on August 08, 2013, 07:44:22 pm
Joe was back to killing from horseback, and he was doing well. A random brawl had broken out in an open field, just in the shadow of a big castle. A little river bisected the battlefield. It's waters flowed slow, and reflected the sky back at itself. It was lovely, despite the bloody business transpiring all around it.

The river was keeping Joe from running down one last group of random men-at-arms. They fled to the relative safety of some ruins. Joe watched from his side of the river, smiling.

He knew they would wander back into the field. They always did.

He cupped his hands in front of his mouth and yelled, "HEY NERDS! YOU'RE BAD!"

Someone shouted back, "NO WE'RE NOT!"

"YES YOU ARE! BAD BAD BAD!"

Another voice, "F-FUCK YOU!"

In a few seconds they were charging back. Joe cantered back into the middle of the open field and waited for his prey. This was too easy.

He heard the thudding of hooves behind him. He twisted in the saddle, just in time to get hit in the face. He was flung from the saddle, spitting out teeth and trying to curse through the blood and his broken mouth. He'd been blindsided, too distracted by the infantryman.

It must have been another cavalryman.

He tried to get up, but a heavy boot planted itself firmly on his chest. Joe looked up into the face of the man who'd so cruelly dehorsed him.

He recognized that face.

Joe sputtered, and managed to say, "I-I though you were gone!"

Daruvian, back from the dead, leered down at Joe, batting his mace against his thigh. The bastard was loving this. "I came back, just for you... Gf." He said that last part like, "guh-fff".

Then he walked away, leaving Joe to sob on the ground while the men he was chasing earlier gathered around him and laughed. They pointed fingers. They spat. "NERFED HIM GOOD!"

"YOU SUCK!"

"LOOK WHO'S BAD NOW! BAD BAD BAD HAHA!"

Joe covered his face with his hands. "Oh god," he sobbed, "I'm so bad! I hate you Daruvian, you shitty, shitty cav!"

Then the soldiers kicked him until he died.
Title: Re: Good fight scrubs
Post by: Delson on August 08, 2013, 10:34:52 pm
Daruvian, more like Brett Farve.

Gottem