cRPG

Off Topic => General Off Topic => Topic started by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 11:00:30 am

Title: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 11:00:30 am
First of all, the most important ability in a forum community is the ability to discuss subjects. Without that, you're pretty superflous to the future development of the player base. And in order to be good at discussion, you need to read carefully about what the topic or subject is about before you start contributing.

However, even if you read carefully, write a sufficiently eloquent post, with decent points and perspectives, there is no guarantee people will listen to you. Unless you're a Nice Guy. This denotes a person who very rarely makes mockery out of other people, someone you can respect and even as far as admire. It's easy to admire nice people, because they never step on other people's toes. They take up little space and that is comfortable for other people's ego. Someone who doesn't intimidate will not get intimidated.

Most importantly, people listen to nice guys. They hear them out, read every letter, maybe even reply to them to show their support. Even devs like nice guys. In fact, they'd be inclined to like them more, because nice guys are role models in the community. They never break rules, they never start conflicts, they're just nice. And who else if not the devs, wish for a community that is respectable, amicable and admirable?

To all the assholes out there, me included:  Wouldn't it be better if everyone didn't hate your guts so much? :)

Sure. It would.

So why aren't we changing? Why aren't we doing something about our attitudes, our bad manners?

My honest answer? I like being an asshole, it has come to be my persona in this community. I like telling people that they're wrong in an edgy way, it's more effective and it sure is a hell of a lot more fun. For me, for everyone. Well, almost everyone.

But at the same time, I want people to recognize that it's just a persona. I can still be civil. I can still be respectable, amicable and admirable. I can be a nice guy too. Nothing is definitive. The same goes for nice guys. They may be nice 90% of the time, but for the rest of those 10%, they can be just as edgy.

So what I'm saying is, treat everyone like you would treat yourself. Slap yourself in the face when you do something stupid, pat yourself on the shoulder when you do something good. If everyone lived by this policy, there sure would be a lot of face slapping, but also a lot of shoulder patting. Eventually people would realize which the more comfortable alternative is. Sure as hell won't be getting external facepalms applied with extra force.

The summary of this thread, for you tl;dr people:

Assholes can be Nice Guys; Nice Guys can be Assholes. Don't be so srs.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Fips on September 13, 2012, 11:07:48 am
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Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Vovka on September 13, 2012, 11:11:51 am
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Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 11:12:13 am
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"First of all, the most important ability in a forum community is the ability to discuss subjects. Without that, you're pretty superflous to the future development of the player base."

Way to go, Shits. Managed to miss the first point in the first sentence.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Fips on September 13, 2012, 11:17:18 am
"First of all, the most important ability in a forum community is the ability to discuss subjects. Without that, you're pretty superflous to the future development of the player base."

Way to go, Shits. Managed to miss the first point in the first sentence.

What if i told you, i did read that sentence and then posted that "didn't read"-pic?  :shock:
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: IR_Kuoin on September 13, 2012, 11:19:12 am
So ... am I a nice guy?
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Ptolemy on September 13, 2012, 11:25:52 am
I try to be a nice guy.

Or... I tried.

But fuck you guys.

Being a ninja = insta-hate, so... just fuck all of you.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Vibe on September 13, 2012, 11:29:00 am
I would say that I am the nicest person on this board. I'm kind to all races and types (except fucking gypsies, eat it smooth), shit I'll mate with all of you right now if you want.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: IR_Kuoin on September 13, 2012, 11:35:31 am
I would say that I am the nicest person on this board. I'm kind to all races and types (except fucking gypsies, eat it smooth), shit I'll mate with all of you right now if you want.

No thanks, I have a bad vibe about you
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: FrugFrug on September 13, 2012, 11:37:03 am
5/10

I dunno man, I just get this bad VIBE from you...  8-)

huehuehuehue
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: _GTX_ on September 13, 2012, 11:41:54 am
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Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Joseph Porta on September 13, 2012, 11:45:27 am
Interesting post, for me it differs per forum.. also it's wether i am sincerely interested in what one posts or not.  :)
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 12:23:30 pm
Interesting post, for me it differs per forum.. also it's wether i am sincerely interested in what one posts or not.  :)

Of course it differs from forum to forum, it has to do with the number of assholes in a community, or the amount of bad behaviour. In this, nice guys will stand out, as they are the very opposite of an asshole. Usually when people are fed up with something, they will start supporting its extreme opposite. In this community, people like GTX make people like Gurnisson and Tor look good, hence why people respect them way more than people respect GTX. And besides, he has 465 infamy and less than 100 renown, not to mention a title that says "Coward". :lol:
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Thovex on September 13, 2012, 12:26:46 pm
What if i told you, i did read that sentence and then posted that "didn't read"-pic?  :shock:

Then you don't know the purpose of the picture properly?
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Joseph Porta on September 13, 2012, 12:41:24 pm
Of course it differs from forum to forum, it has to do with the number of assholes in a community, or the amount of bad behaviour. In this, nice guys will stand out, as they are the very opposite of an asshole. Usually when people are fed up with something, they will start supporting its extreme opposite. In this community, people like GTX make people like Gurnisson and Tor look good, hence why people respect them way more than people respect GTX. And besides, he has 465 infamy and less than 100 renown, not to mention a title that says "Coward". :lol:

Both the assholes & the good guys will have their share of followers, shit is allways like that, not just on the web. :)
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Fips on September 13, 2012, 12:53:45 pm
Then you don't know the purpose of the picture properly?

Stoopid me.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Butan on September 13, 2012, 01:27:55 pm
Bjord...a true asshole never post this kind of topic!
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Adamar on September 13, 2012, 01:42:02 pm
I try to be a nice guy.

Or... I tried.

But fuck you guys.

Being a ninja = insta-hate, so... just fuck all of you.

Same with archers.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Miranda on September 13, 2012, 02:01:43 pm
Nice people on the internets?! What sorcery is this?!

Ah well i try to be a "nice person" online but sometimes i fail. Generally it doesn't matter anyways. Peeps will still hate me for being a GK or they just don't like me for whatever other reason. That's fine.

We all need a way to vent stress right?
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Ninja_Khorin on September 13, 2012, 02:16:27 pm
I don't know whether I'm known as a nice guy or not. Perhaps my adminship has diminished that part of my reputation. Either way, here's my opinion:

Regardless if it's a persona or not, people will treat you based on how you act because we have no way of seeing the "true you within". Nor should we need to. Sure, anyone can be respectable and follow the rules, but the capacity of acting like a nice guy does not make you a nice guy. The fact that you think it's fun to provoke and insult players does make you kind of an asshat, and a part of the communities opinion of you will lower as a consequence. Maybe people will take you less seriously, because that's exactly what you seem to want us to do. Or do you really mean all the insults you say? A person who is an "asshat" 90% of the time will usually be treated like an asshat 90 or more percent of the time.


I do not usually bite on random provocations unless I really like to debate the issue and any insults toward me are insults toward my persona and not me, shockingly I'm not a ninja in real life or black. I also do take some joy in good natured trolling, but not to the degree that most of the "asshats" do. I also try to help people with questions, even though some people have trolled those in need of help, and give people a fair chance to explain their actions if they've been banned by me, I've banned quite a few, but I tend to let the people off easier if they seem to not understand some rule or if they seem truly sorry. This is also why I do not want random people in other peoples unban threads unless they have anything worthwhile to add.
I do this because I see no reason to discourage people with honest questions about the game. They are usually new players and I've witnessed a few players stick around simply because someone has helped them in the beginning.

Just be nice, post constructively and not provokingly. My grandmum always taught me that the least thing you can be to other people is polite. With friends you can be as impolite as you want  :twisted: This is why I stay polite even to the most vocal "asshats" in the community.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Grumbs on September 13, 2012, 03:02:43 pm
Communities that are ruled by "asshats" rarely grow to a decent size unless its a very broad community. Believe or not, but most people aren't asshats, I like to think that 90% of everyone I meet is decent, and I always assume so before I had a long time to get to know them. With these types of numbers, if you have a community were the good guys (or normals) are driven away you will end up with a tiny fraction of the people available. A small minority can destroy communities though, it only takes a couple of Panos's (or wannabes like a few others here) and you will notice the effects. 90% of the people ingame are decent imo, but a vocal minority can spoil it, as also happens here on the forum. The majority that could exist here won't without mods or others leading by example. If people come here and all they see is "my old friend" and other stuff associated with 13 year old gamers then they will not consider posting here too. I don't want to be associated with the trash that can exist on the internet either
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Brutal on September 13, 2012, 05:43:21 pm
Assholes can be Nice Guys; Nice Guys can be Assholes. Don't be so srs.

Although it is hard to judge somebody from what he says it's pretty easy to judge somebody from his actions.

Like if somebody that seem intelligent and well educated constantly revenge teamhit for 2 years now, it's pretty safe to assume that person has issues !!!
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Zlisch_The_Butcher on September 13, 2012, 05:54:50 pm
I don't want to be associated with the trash that can exist on the internet either
Then stop posting here, forever, please?
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Grumbs on September 13, 2012, 06:02:21 pm
You moved on to Goats now as your attempt at forcing your own cRPG meme? Good luck with that ;D
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Torben on September 13, 2012, 06:14:34 pm
not sure you about you being admirable atm,  amicable is more probable,  because you cant quite yet be taken serious.
tbh,  I think your shitty behavior in the past came from weakness,  being hot tempered without self control,  and not because you formed a special persona.  I do however think you have matured.  props to that.
and as soon as you get to the point where you dont care what people think of you and still are well mannered,  people may even start to admire you (your persona,  not your skills).

the not taking things serious part,  I like best.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Teeth on September 13, 2012, 06:18:14 pm
Oh god, there is Bjord once again picking up the concious good guy act, care.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Zlisch_The_Butcher on September 13, 2012, 06:30:03 pm
You moved on to Goats now as your attempt at forcing your own cRPG meme? Good luck with that ;D
Actually I ain't the main original Goatspriest, so shut up heathen!
Also, Ron Paul is still gonna win, I don't fucking care, and USA is still the best country in the universe.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Tore on September 13, 2012, 06:40:46 pm
wat
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Kafein on September 13, 2012, 06:46:31 pm
Oh god, there is Bjord once again picking up the concious good guy act, care.

At least I like his kind much more than people that will just go "QQ MOAR" to avoid facing all kind of discussion.


Btw, GTX is totally my new cRPG hero. Reminds me when we had Grumbs complaining about voice shout spamming and getting all his posts to -50 or something.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Gravoth_iii on September 13, 2012, 07:05:51 pm
Community needs both sides, i prefer asshats though as they are funny.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Firebrand on September 13, 2012, 07:11:11 pm
USA is still the best country in the universe.
OMG. :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: rufio on September 13, 2012, 07:14:40 pm
practice what you preach ,  :cry: baby bjord becomming a man , so proud
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Riddaren on September 13, 2012, 07:16:32 pm
STOP THE RASISCM

The anger and trashtalking between different classes in crpg needs to be dealt with.
It's not much different from real life rasiscm between humans in my opinion.

You may defend it by saying that this is just a game.
But the fact is that real people still get upset because they have become one with their class and playstyle.

You may defend it by saying it's just a joke but that's not a good argument either.
It doesn't work to say bad stuff to people IRL and then just telling them it was a joke.


STOP OVERUSING CERTAIN WORDS IN A BAD WAY

I don't mind people being gay and I also understand that some people are homophobic.
But that doesn't mean I don't get annoyed seeing the word "my old friend" 1000 times whenever I log on to the forums or play the game.

Do yourself a favor and try to be creative by using some other words.
Or even easier, just use the word "cav", "archer", "2H" etc without adding another word to it...


Thanks.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Elindor on September 13, 2012, 07:34:38 pm
This "niceness" you mention I just call "decent human behavior"... but I suppose on the internet where everyone is a trolly douche, decent human behavior is something of merit  :)

I like telling people that they're wrong in an edgy way, it's more effective and it sure is a hell of a lot more fun.

"wrong" is a tricky subject, and this is where many forum users become assholes - many people assume that their personal opinion is "right" and the other person's is "wrong".  Wrong is very subjective depending on the subject.

In real life (face to face) people are MUCH more conservative about proclaiming that they are right and everyone else is wrong...the bold (and not validated) proclamations of truth found on forums are a symptom of the anonymity of the internet.

----

Your post is interesting though - starts out saying basically "being cordial is more effective and better for the community", but then it goes on to say "well, being an ass is more fun, that's why I (Bjord) do it, but I can be nice too!".  Then you say "treat others as you would be treated" having just mentioned you prefer to act like an ass most of the time, so you want people to treat you like shit?  :?:

Then the tl;dr is basically "Everyone's a dick (us assholes aren't that bad), stop taking it so seriously and deal with it"

Overall I like your post, but this apparent shifting of message is sort of confusing....
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Rhekimos on September 13, 2012, 07:38:09 pm
"wrong" is a tricky subject, and this is where many forum users become assholes - many people assume that their personal opinion is "right" and the other person's is "wrong".  Wrong is very subjective depending on the subject.

Holy shit, this.

visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Kerrigan on September 13, 2012, 07:44:22 pm
So you are roleplaying an asshole?

Ahhhh that's why there is always shit coming out of your mouth.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: San on September 13, 2012, 07:50:01 pm
I act like how I would irl, mostly. I don't go out of my way to please or piss anyone off. That trolling persona bit got old for me way too long ago.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Jarlek on September 13, 2012, 08:07:45 pm
I'm a nice asshole guy with homosexual tendencies. Yay to me!
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 08:08:24 pm
Of course I don't actually think people will believe me when I say it's an act, that's sort of the point of an act, you're not supposed to be a part-time asshole. Yes, this is a tautology so I guess sorry for not bothering to explain better. I just wanted to hint at the fact that people take things too personal. Something I don't do is bring up personal stuff, if I talked to you on TS and you told me something personal, I would never use that against you. I won't say that nobody likes you because this and that, I think it's a cheap way of lowering someone's self-esteem. I may have done so in the past but that was then, years ago. Last time I did this was against Gingerpussy from Mercs. I really regretted it the moment I said it, and I got seriously warned by an admin. I'm still today feeling bad about that and I hope he reads this.

If I ever truly felt like a complete and inconsiderate piece of shit, that was then. Trolling with IRL info is the lowest form of trolling. I've seen people who call me a troll do it regularly, mostly against me, but occasionally against others. IRL info trolling is when you use something personal and skew it into something that is humiliating for the other person, and that shit is weak.

Khorin said that people don't have the ability to see through an act when you behave like that 90% of the time, and you're absolutely correct. I don't expect people to either.

But what I expect is that people open their eyes a bit. That 10% of nice guy may happen rarely, but it does happen. And when it does, use your wits if you have any. :wink:

If any of you have seen the movie "Megamind", I like to think of myself like him sometimes. Sure, I may have started out as an angry kid with self-control issues, but that went away after the first year of cRPG. I just didn't see the point in lashing out like a crazy person in the chat all the time. However, even as I stopped the "actual" rage, people kept treating me the same, so I just went with it. I talked to some peoe on the TS and one thing they always said, when I first talked to them was this:

"Wow, I didn't think you'd be such a calm guy on the TS. In-game I always see you raging and insulting people. What a surprise."

Even people like Ragni has said that, and if you've been around for a while you'd know he doesn't think very highly of me. He still doesn't, but I thought it was worth bringing up.

Of course I can still cuss at stuff that happens in-game when on TS, but I'm completely different when talked to in person. I hope many people can attest to this, even people from NA from when I've snuck into their TS and chatted them up. :oops:

Anyway, you're all free to think what you want, I'm not going to lose any sleep if you think I'm a bad person.

 
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: rufio on September 13, 2012, 08:11:51 pm
bjord whatever i said,dont worry youre a good kid imo, all else is just countertrollin
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Elindor on September 13, 2012, 08:14:47 pm
When you post cordially I tend to +1 or commend you for it (which you may have noticed, may not have)...regardless of how I've seen you post in the past.  I may carry less bias in this department than some, whom once they decide "this person is an ass" they will forever paint whatever they say that way.

But you mentioned that if someone acts one way 90% of the time that "people cant see through the act".
If you're acting some way 90% of the time is it really an "act" anymore?.......

People usually reap what they sow, just keep that in mind.
For the record, I don't think you're a bad person at all...you just like trolling, and I dislike it (whether im doing it, someone else is doing it, against me or against others, just dont like it...its juvenile)
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 08:17:43 pm
This "niceness" you mention I just call "decent human behavior"... but I suppose on the internet where everyone is a trolly douche, decent human behavior is something of merit  :)

"wrong" is a tricky subject, and this is where many forum users become assholes - many people assume that their personal opinion is "right" and the other person's is "wrong".  Wrong is very subjective depending on the subject.

In real life (face to face) people are MUCH more conservative about proclaiming that they are right and everyone else is wrong...the bold (and not validated) proclamations of truth found on forums are a symptom of the anonymity of the internet.

----

Your post is interesting though - starts out saying basically "being cordial is more effective and better for the community", but then it goes on to say "well, being an ass is more fun, that's why I (Bjord) do it, but I can be nice too!".  Then you say "treat others as you would be treated" having just mentioned you prefer to act like an ass most of the time, so you want people to treat you like shit?  :?:

Then the tl;dr is basically "Everyone's a dick (us assholes aren't that bad), stop taking it so seriously and deal with it"

Overall I like your post, but this apparent shifting of message is sort of confusing....

Of course you're right. Basically, why my post is so "shifty", is because I'd like to let people know that I am aware of all the rules and niceties that is worth living by, I just don't care for them at all times. But when I do, and when it's obvious that I, at the time, am being cordial, don't call out on me because I offended you in the past.

Maybe it's too much to ask for, i.e can't have the cake and eait it too. :wink:

But to me, it was worth putting out there. I'm not expecting anything to change.

One more thing, and maybe it's already obvious: I like sparking discussions, it's just fascinating. :)
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Elindor on September 13, 2012, 08:23:41 pm
People will seek revenge when they can...if you've offended someone over and over, when they get the chance most will take their opportunity to offend you.

I find it better not to because that just perpetuates the cycle - you have annoyed me at times but its only in passing so after that I just forget about it :)

But yeah, chances are most people will not be nice to a perpetual asshole just because he is being nice one time.

It's similar to the "Boy who cried wolf"...
He claimed there was a wolf to "troll" the townspeople, and did this many times.
When there actually WAS a wolf, they did not believe him and did not come to help.

Possibly not the best comparison, but similar effect. 
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 08:26:29 pm
AFAIK, I've tried to communicate that I'm not a perpetual asshole maybe twice, but yeah.

Anyway, nice to hear everyone's viewpoint.

And I always laugh when I see Ad1no minus my posts, god bless his soul and his endurance. :D
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Fartface on September 13, 2012, 08:31:42 pm
I would say that I am the nicest person on this board. I'm kind to all races and types (except fucking gypsies, eat it smooth), shit I'll mate with all of you right now if you want.
I got gypsie blood for fucks sake :(
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: BASNAK on September 13, 2012, 08:33:18 pm
I bursted out in laughter after seeing -25 on GTX posting the exact same thing as 2 others before him.
Dat GTX hate
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Elindor on September 13, 2012, 08:33:45 pm
AFAIK, I've tried to communicate that I'm not a perpetual asshole maybe twice, but yeah.

Yeah I know you aren't a perpetual asshole, but what I'm saying is if you act that way a lot, some people will see you as that no matter what you're saying...

And I always laugh when I see Ad1no minus my posts, god bless his soul and his endurance. :D

And yeah he's diligent :)
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Joker86 on September 13, 2012, 09:15:28 pm
I would love to see a nice and friendly community only one single time, but I fear the internet just makes people assholes.

When a community is founded, you need strict forum rules to make people used to a certain behaviour, and then enforce it strictly. That way, after some time, when the wrong persons have already be sorted out, you will have a backbone for the community which consists of friendly persons who care for each other, and this would hopefully create an atmosphere which acts contagiously on new members. And I bet this is possible, because all of us who are active in several forums know that your behaviour changes from forum to forum.

All I know is that perhaps I haven't always been the nicest person some time ago, but now I try to stay friendly and respectful, and - most important of all - I try to understand the opinion of others.

You don't need to feel their opinion, but at least having an idea what they mean and understanding that it can be fun/right is important. I find model trains boring as hell, but at least I can understand how someone can enjoy creating a small world with his own hands, his dexterity and his patience, realxing while doing so and enjoying one's peace. I also don't feel any urge to free climb mountains or do bungee jumping, but I can also understand that the adrenaline and having survived this extreme experience can create and enormous push of joy, making you finally feel alive again after a long time.

Most people can not understand such things by default, neither can I, but I am confident if most of them would TRY it, they would quickly understand what is driving the others, and suddenly their opinion isn't as strange or awkward or wrong any more as it used to be a few moments ago.

The other side of the medal is to accept that you are not always right. If you read my posts carefully, you can see they are full of "in my eyes" "I think" and "in my opinion", as I try to not state my opinion as fact. When I think something is a fact I point it out that way, usualy by adding "That's a fact." at the end. Another good hint is to not tell people they are wrong, unless you can't avoid it. Better say "I think differently" or something like that. And even if I have to say they are wrong, I often try to explain that I understand how you can get to that wrong opinion. That way people don't lose their face and are more open for other (=my) opinions. And the same applies for myself. I don't like hearing that I am wrong, because this implies I am stupid. And if someone calls me stupid I have to defend myself and prove that I am not. That's why my opinion HAS to be proven to be right. And this is where constructive discussions usually end.

Another big problem I see is the modern "lazyness" on the internet. People are not willing to read or to think about certain matters, some time ago I read somewhere that if people try to find some information out of curiosity they give up if they don't find it within 15 or 30 seconds of googling. That's the reason for posts like the first two answers in this topic, which actually deserve a "-" from me, but I won't, because, you know, I'm a nice guy  :wink:

That's the problem I suffer from. I like to post "finished" products/thoughts, so that everyone who reads through it knows what I mean. I want to prevent misunderstandings, and sometimes I seem to mention quite obvious things, but from my own experience I know that while reading you are not always concentrated, or fully engaged with trying to understand what the person wants to say, that sometimes you don't get implied information. This usually leads, like in this case, to my famous walls of text. It's a goddamn miracle (AND SHAME!!!  :mad: ) I still don't have a custom title.

I guess there is little to do about. You can suggest people to read "How to make friends" by Dale Carnegie, it's not a weird ass self help book for losers like I imagined when I saw it and read into it for the lulz, it's the basic concept of living with others and should not only be set book in school, instead of all those ancient domestic novels, it should be the base of an entire school subject which is called "social behaviour" and taught from 1st to 8th grade or something like that. The man wrote this at the beginning of the 20th century, in the days of Rockefeller, Roosevelt and John Dillinger, and still ALL of it applies to our modern society.

Other than that a few forum rules would be nice, like making "Lol didn't read"- and "tl;dr"-posts an offense leading to a mute, but I guess people would feel hindered in their freedom of speech and trolling  :rolleyes:
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 09:33:54 pm
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Joker86 on September 13, 2012, 09:35:58 pm
You are awkward, Bjord...  :?

Then at least remove your "-" from Fip's post, if you post something like that yourself.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 09:39:23 pm
It was meant to be a joke. :(
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Fips on September 13, 2012, 09:44:15 pm
It was meant to be a joke. :(

But mine was out of pure hatred?  :D
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Joker86 on September 13, 2012, 09:45:27 pm
It was meant to be a joke. :(

You can never know when it's about Bjord...  :?

But mine was out of pure hatred?  :D

You can never know when it's about Bjord...  :?
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Teeth on September 13, 2012, 09:46:27 pm
But mine was out of pure hatred?  :D
Fips, meet Bjord, a master in having different standards for himself than he has for others.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 09:47:21 pm
Now you're being a hater, Joker!

@Fips: No, I guess you were just waiting for an opportunity to post that gif, looking for text walls and such. Can't blame ya.

Fips, meet Bjord, a master in having different standards for himself than he has for others.

Here's a mirror, look at yourself.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Joker86 on September 13, 2012, 09:50:51 pm
Now you're being a hater, Joker!

Not unless you are a fan of Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus or any person which is not a white protestant. I am a loving and tolerant person.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Fips on September 13, 2012, 09:53:45 pm
Fips, meet Bjord, a master in having different standards for himself than he has for others.

In some way we all do that, i guess.^^

@Bjord: Nah, i'm not that kind of user, usually i really read those walls. But the topic was kinda meant to have a gif like this one :>
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 13, 2012, 09:54:27 pm
Not unless you are a fan of Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus or any person which is not a white protestant. I am a loving and tolerant person.

Anyway, sorry if that offended you. I actually thought it'd be funny, considering the same thing was done to my post. :lol:

I did read your post, I just felt I had nothing to add. :wink:
(Maybe I should have not posted at all, but again, didn't think you'd take it so seriously)
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: bagge on September 13, 2012, 10:03:23 pm
I can see Nord_oprahwinfrey on eu1 sometimes if you lot need a chat sometimes.

Just a friendly advice
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Kafein on September 13, 2012, 10:14:40 pm
I genuinely find this fourth page much more interesting than all the others.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Kafein on September 13, 2012, 10:17:43 pm
I would love to see a nice and friendly community only one single time, but I fear the internet just makes people assholes.

When a community is founded, you need strict forum rules to make people used to a certain behaviour, and then enforce it strictly. That way, after some time, when the wrong persons have already be sorted out, you will have a backbone for the community which consists of friendly persons who care for each other, and this would hopefully create an atmosphere which acts contagiously on new members. And I bet this is possible, because all of us who are active in several forums know that your behaviour changes from forum to forum.

All I know is that perhaps I haven't always been the nicest person some time ago, but now I try to stay friendly and respectful, and - most important of all - I try to understand the opinion of others.

You don't need to feel their opinion, but at least having an idea what they mean and understanding that it can be fun/right is important. I find model trains boring as hell, but at least I can understand how someone can enjoy creating a small world with his own hands, his dexterity and his patience, realxing while doing so and enjoying one's peace. I also don't feel any urge to free climb mountains or do bungee jumping, but I can also understand that the adrenaline and having survived this extreme experience can create and enormous push of joy, making you finally feel alive again after a long time.

Most people can not understand such things by default, neither can I, but I am confident if most of them would TRY it, they would quickly understand what is driving the others, and suddenly their opinion isn't as strange or awkward or wrong any more as it used to be a few moments ago.

The other side of the medal is to accept that you are not always right. If you read my posts carefully, you can see they are full of "in my eyes" "I think" and "in my opinion", as I try to not state my opinion as fact. When I think something is a fact I point it out that way, usualy by adding "That's a fact." at the end. Another good hint is to not tell people they are wrong, unless you can't avoid it. Better say "I think differently" or something like that. And even if I have to say they are wrong, I often try to explain that I understand how you can get to that wrong opinion. That way people don't lose their face and are more open for other (=my) opinions. And the same applies for myself. I don't like hearing that I am wrong, because this implies I am stupid. And if someone calls me stupid I have to defend myself and prove that I am not. That's why my opinion HAS to be proven to be right. And this is where constructive discussions usually end.


Another big problem I see is the modern "lazyness" on the internet. People are not willing to read or to think about certain matters, some time ago I read somewhere that if people try to find some information out of curiosity they give up if they don't find it within 15 or 30 seconds of googling. That's the reason for posts like the first two answers in this topic, which actually deserve a "-" from me, but I won't, because, you know, I'm a nice guy  :wink:

That's the problem I suffer from. I like to post "finished" products/thoughts, so that everyone who reads through it knows what I mean. I want to prevent misunderstandings, and sometimes I seem to mention quite obvious things, but from my own experience I know that while reading you are not always concentrated, or fully engaged with trying to understand what the person wants to say, that sometimes you don't get implied information. This usually leads, like in this case, to my famous walls of text. It's a goddamn miracle (AND SHAME!!!  :mad: ) I still don't have a custom title.

I guess there is little to do about. You can suggest people to read "How to make friends" by Dale Carnegie, it's not a weird ass self help book for losers like I imagined when I saw it and read into it for the lulz, it's the basic concept of living with others and should not only be set book in school, instead of all those ancient domestic novels, it should be the base of an entire school subject which is called "social behaviour" and taught from 1st to 8th grade or something like that. The man wrote this at the beginning of the 20th century, in the days of Rockefeller, Roosevelt and John Dillinger, and still ALL of it applies to our modern society.

Other than that a few forum rules would be nice, like making "Lol didn't read"- and "tl;dr"-posts an offense leading to a mute, but I guess people would feel hindered in their freedom of speech and trolling  :rolleyes:


You are welcome.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Kafein on September 13, 2012, 10:18:11 pm
Where's the edit button ?

Okay I prevented myself from doubleposting by tripleposting.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Dooz on September 13, 2012, 11:55:50 pm
Pretty easy to remedy assholes, itchy mute finger, apply liberally.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Christo on September 13, 2012, 11:57:21 pm
I bursted out in laughter after seeing -25 on GTX posting the exact same thing as 2 others before him.
Dat GTX hate

It just made my day.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: hamiler on September 14, 2012, 02:28:33 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs

your not a asshole to you get to this level
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Vibe on September 14, 2012, 07:44:09 am
I bursted out in laughter after seeing -25 on GTX posting the exact same thing as 2 others before him.
Dat GTX hate

lmao
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Son Of Odin on September 14, 2012, 10:24:58 am
lmao
Renown whore
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: IR_Kuoin on September 14, 2012, 11:11:00 am
Renown whore

Says the guy who posts gifs. on every single thread in hope of getting some upvotes  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Son Of Odin on September 14, 2012, 11:13:15 am
Says the guy who posts gifs. on every single thread in hope of getting some upvotes  :mrgreen:
Seen this?
http://forum.meleegaming.com/general-off-topic/vibe-stop-whoring-renown!/

You have a point, but it's just my way of communicating sometimes :mrgreen:
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Fips on September 14, 2012, 01:37:44 pm
Whoa, 36 Upvotes for that gif.

Am i famous now?  8-)
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Tibe on September 14, 2012, 02:37:37 pm
So let me get this straight. You act like a twat, you say that you like being a twat and than you say that you dont want people to think you are acctually a twat?

visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Bjord on September 14, 2012, 04:09:25 pm
So let me get this straight. You act like a twat, you say that you like being a twat and than you say that you dont want people to think you are acctually a twat?

If you care for me to explain, keep reading. If not, just stop at this row. :)

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Tibe on September 14, 2012, 04:15:49 pm
Quote
One more thing:
In my opinion, twat is worse than asshole. It sounds so bitter. Asshole is just some guy that likes raging at stuff and other people.

Im so sorry you big asshole. I didnt mean to offend you. :cry:
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Elindor on September 14, 2012, 05:24:30 pm
...I'm not necessarily a hostile person, I just like teasing people a bit. I think I recall saying something along the lines of "I do it because I like you". Strange way of showing respect, I suppose, but hey, at least I meant what I said.

Awww, does this mean Bjord likes me? 

visitors can't see pics , please register or login
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Riddaren on September 14, 2012, 06:20:58 pm
It's what other people think that matters.

The truth is irrelevant.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Miwiw on September 14, 2012, 09:23:32 pm
I like how Fips got nearly 40 +1 by posting that pic. GTX quotes it and gets - 40. I like.
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Kafein on September 14, 2012, 09:25:57 pm
It's what other people think that matters.

The truth is irrelevant.

Into politics much ?
Title: Re: The Benefits of Being a Nice Guy in Communities contra an Asshole
Post by: Nessaj on September 14, 2012, 11:02:33 pm
It's what other people think that matters.

The truth is irrelevant.

http://phys.org/news/2011-07-minority-scientists-ideas.html (http://phys.org/news/2011-07-minority-scientists-ideas.html)

Quote from: http://phys.org
Scientists at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute have found that when just 10 percent of the population holds an unshakable belief, their belief will always be adopted by the majority of the society. The scientists, who are members of the Social Cognitive Networks Academic Research Center (SCNARC) at Rensselaer, used computational and analytical methods to discover the tipping point where a minority belief becomes the majority opinion. The finding has implications for the study and influence of societal interactions ranging from the spread of innovations to the movement of political ideals.