Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: Artyem on September 01, 2012, 07:56:16 pm
I knew shouldn't have eaten those oysters. Your life becomes a living hell, you think you're okay at first but then it hits you. It's like swallowing a sack of hammers. First, you get the chills. Then, you get the stomach pains. Finally, you're hanging over a toilet bowl expecting a normal throw up session that will be over soon. It must be normal food poisoning, right? NO! You heave and empty your stomach into the toilet bowl, but something doesn't feel right. You heave again and as the oyster seasoned stomach milkshake flies out of your mouth your body can't help but tense up, causing you to leak liquid shit all over everything behind you. Christ, this couldn't get any worse, could it!?
Oh but it totally fucking does, you're shitting and puking at the same time, and it just doesn't end. Eventually it feels like you're excreting blades crafted from magma in the forges of hell. At this point you've either coated the floor with some body excrement or you're smart enough to have gotten a large bowl to empty your stomach into while you sit on the can emptying into that as well.
This will go on for a long time. Drink water and you'll be fine. You'll probably sleep for twenty hours, so call in sick if you have work.
The best possible way I can explain salmonella to someone who hasn't experienced it yet. Most viruses and diseases work this way though, some worse than others (Malaria, West Nile...)
Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: Torben on September 01, 2012, 08:01:08 pm
Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: Dexxtaa on September 02, 2012, 04:33:17 am
Then your penis would be full of vomit. Or you have an extra large toilet bowl.
What if you stick your own penis in your butt while you- o wait that won't go
Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: Son Of Odin on September 04, 2012, 08:23:34 pm
But what if you have a terrible diarrhea coming, you sit on the toilet seat and realize you have to take a piss too. That's not all tho. You notice that you also have a huge boner. What do you do? You can't take a piss without releasing the horrible loose crap. Neither can you take a shit without urinating on the walls.
Vomit & diarrhea = ezimode. Your move.
Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: wayyyyyne on September 04, 2012, 08:29:08 pm
But what if you have a terrible diarrhea coming, you sit on the toilet seat and realize you have to take a piss too. That's not all tho. You notice that you also have a huge boner. What do you do? You can't take a piss without releasing the horrible loose crap. Neither can you take a shit without urinating on the walls.
Vomit & diarrhea = ezimode. Your move.
Don't forget you also have this really bad rash on your back leaving you no spare hand to jerk off.
Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: Son Of Odin on September 04, 2012, 09:27:26 pm
Don't forget you also have this really bad rash on your back leaving you no spare hand to jerk off.
Aha! Good thinking wayne. Jerking off wouldn't save you anyhow tho because the shit is coming with a massive pressure and you had to run to the toilet. You are now in the toilet. What to do?
Continue.
Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: zagibu on September 04, 2012, 10:21:45 pm
Aha, you are a girl! Every man knows that you cannot, in fact, piss with a boner.
Also, if you don't have a bucket around, why don't you just crawl into the bathtub? We also put people who are on questionable levels of alcohol poisoning into the bathtub, so I guess it could work in that case, too.
Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: Cepeshi on September 04, 2012, 11:21:11 pm
Aha, you are a girl! Every man knows that you cannot, in fact, piss with a boner.
Also, if you don't have a bucket around, why don't you just crawl into the bathtub? We also put people who are on questionable levels of alcohol poisoning into the bathtub, so I guess it could work in that case, too.
OR he didnt got a single boner yet.
Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: Son Of Odin on September 05, 2012, 11:08:27 am
Oh for fucks sake Y U NO PLAY THE GAME?! Hmm is pissing with a full boner "physically impossible" like shitting/urinating while sneezing? Not usual problem indeed but if your bladder was just really full and ready to explode would it be possible you could pee while indeed having a permaboner :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Have you ever vomitted and had diarhea at same time
Post by: zagibu on September 05, 2012, 06:37:40 pm
Both is not physically impossible, if the pressure is high enough.