Footnote: Apologies for any players/clans who werent mentioned or if I got the sex/class of your character wrong or if you just plain didn't like it :P
The fighting was fierce.
In every street and alleyway of Ichamur, blood soaked the floor.
Nebun looked around from his lofty view point atop one of the town houses.
The bodies of the Donkee-Soliders were everywhere, their Ee-aw war cries making the battle sound more like a massive stables than the vicious melee that it actually was.
His quiver was nearly empty, he would have to call for more arrows soon or join the hand to hand combat. He sneered to himself at the second option. He would rather run around picking up spent arrows and re-use them than get close enough to the Donkee-soldiers who stank of shit and piss.
Zerobot and Tennoth stood close by, and they too were almost out of arrows.
Zerobot let an arrow fly and it took one of the Donkee-Soldiers in the eye, dropping it to the floor like a stone.
"That's thirty three for me, I believe that means Im in the lead?"
Tennoth smirked as he took two arrows from his quiver and loosed them simultaneously. The death cries of two Donkee-Soldiers reached his ears as his kill tally reached thirty four.
"'N now yur lusin' agin!" barked Tennoth in his guttural accent.
The fight for Ichamur had already been going on for days, not counting the siege of the walls.
The city itself had one main road leading from North to south, with two other large roads running along the perimeter, forming a circle that enclosed the entire city.
The Fallen Brigade held the main road, supported by Byzantium foot.
The Templars held the left road and the Bashibazouks held the right, supported by Raven and Merciless.
The Donkee-Soldiers seemed endless in number. Like a vast sea they crashed onto the defenders positions wave after wave. Life meant nothing for them, they were simple creatures who only knew how to obey their master.
Vincent-Ruth stood behind the templar shieldwall, breathing heavily as donkee blood trickling down from her huge flamberge. She had heard the casualty report as it was read to Casimir, hours earlier, and she grieved. Alpha had fell leading a counter charge. Oldknight and Spawny were also dead, having died at Alpha's side. Osiris and Poopy were bloodied and cleaved, and it was expected they would pass away any moment.
The templars had enjoyed a brief respite from the fighting as the Donkee-Soldiers regrouped for another charge.
The loud braying from afar told Vincent-Ruth that their respite was over though, as the donkee horde raced at the templar ranks once again. The donkies were manlike in form, but hairy all over, coloured grey. They had manlike, hairy hands, and an ugly donkees face. The only clothes they wore were simple loin cloths. They needed no shoes or boots as they had hooves for feet.
They'd used simple clubs when they had first invaded Calradia. As they slaughtered village after village, castle after castle and town after town, they scavenged what they could from the dead.
The Druzhina/Grey alliance had been hit hardest as they controlled most of Calradia at the time. Their armies were away fighting in the South and North East and they were unprepared for the invasion.
Once their capital had been lost, the other Calradian factions started to hold meetings about this new threat and approached the Druzhina/Grey alliance with a proposal. All in-fighting between them would stop and they would unite against a common enemy. It was readily agreed and the combined force from some of the largest Calradian factions had slowed the donkee advance.
Slowed, but not stopped.
In Ichamur, the braying got closer to Vincent-Ruth and her anger grew as the faces of her fallen comrades entered her mind, one by one. A deafening crash was heard as the Donkee-Soldiers smashed against the templar shield wall. As the templar training kicked in, and the shield wall slew the front donkee ranks and made a gap, Vincent-Ruth ran, jumped up and over the shield wall and swung her mighty flamberge, cleaving three unlucky donkees straight through their torso's in a vicious side swing.
"DIE, you donkee fucks!" She screamed. "Kill them all!" She cried as her comrades surged to her side. She thrust her blade into a battle-axe wielding donkee that was charging her. It brayed in pain as she lifted it up and flung it into two more of its fellows, knocking them to the ground.
* * *
Chase was alone. Georges was dead, slumped down in his bloodied gothic plate, surrounded by dozens of his dead donkee enemies. He looked as though he was kneeling, held up by a spear that impaled him from behind into the ground. His dented and blunted flamberge lay on the floor, dropped from his lifeless hands. Other Byzantium dead lay nearby. They had been cut off from the main Byzantium group on a scavenging mission. Fresh swords and shields were needed, their own having seen so much use that they were now no better than metal clubs. A donkee herd had caught them, and pushed them into a dead-end alleyway. Now only Chase lived and the Donkee herd were many.
If the Donkee-Soldiers knew fear, then they were afraid of Chase. He had slain many of their brethren and they eyed him with learned-cautiousness. They were stupid animals though, and their obediance was absolute.
They brayed their warcry, and charged, five abreast as that was all the narrow street allowed. Chase looked death in the eye, and smiled.
Time slowed down.
A huge axe swung at his head. A spear thrust at him. Half a dozen missiles flew his way.
And then Chase ran at the wall behind him.
Chase had disappeared.
The axe missed. The spear pierced air and the missiles clanged to the ground.
The Donkee-Soldiers halted their charge, looking around in confusion for their enemy.
Then one of them brayed in pain as Chases spear was thrust into him from above. Chase used it to give himself momentum to jump past and behind the herd. He recovered from a roll designed to lessen the impact of the drop and grabbed a short sword from the ground as he righted himself.
Then he ran for his life as the herd charged after him, braying and stinking.
* * *
The fight for Ichamur was a losing battle, all knew that, but they were fighting for time.
Each drop of blood spilled was spilled in the hope that a few might succeed and slice off the head of the snake that threatened to engulf them all.
RandomDude paused at the entrance of the cave. A rotting odour reached his nose and he looked away in distaste.
"Are you sure this is the place?" He asked Rogue.
"Ya, zis is ze place, Random. Fips unt Knutler paid for zis information vith zeir lives. Let it not be in vain."
Randomdude nodded. He led the eight-strong death party of himself, Rogue, Luther, Izu, Tomas, Friedrich, Thomek and Khorin.
He thought back to the first time he had heard the braying of the donkees. He had been sat in his quarters late at night at Chalbek Castle. He would of slept but one particular Donkee had been braying all day and all night. Standard siege tactics to keep the defenders awake and to weaken their resolve.
His advisor had been waiting on him all this time, trying to keep RandomDude's nerves from shattering. The advisor's words were lost on RandomDude though, as only one thought was running through his mind.
"I will kill that donkee." A tuneless braying breaks the silence.
"I don't care how many arrows they feather me with." More tuneless ee-aw's echoed through the night.
" I don't care how many spears they run through me." A particularly loud, annoying braying made RandomDude flinch.
"I
will kill that horned braying cunt before I fall!"
His advisor had rudely interrupted at that point to inform him that equus africanus asinuss didn't have horns.
RandomDude made a mental note to make sure his advisor didn't survive the siege.
RandomDude smiled grimly at the memory.
The donkees had over-run the castle. RandomDude had told his forces that he would lead them in the castle's defence. Instead, he had taken a few of his meanest, toughest fighters and escaped through a secret tunnel leaving his other men to die for him.
Some might of called him a coward and a wretch for this, but they would probably be dead on the battlefield whilst RandomDude lived. He was a brave fighter, routinuely slaughtering his enemies, but only on his terms, and only when victory was assured.
What some may call cowardice, he would call intelligence.
And so, he had come up with the plan to kill the All-Father of Donkee's. The Half-God known as chadz.
There was no way RandomDude would allow himself to be a part of the defence of that doomed city and trust the Donkee's ultimate defeat to others.
Before the Donkee host had laid siege to Ichamur, RandomDude, Rogue, the two Ninja's, Khorin and Thomek, and two battalions, one each from the Holy Roman Empire and the Antarian Empire, had set out upon the most vital of quests.
They had encountered multiple donkee units on their quest, and out of all the parties they had sent out, not many had returned. One did though, minus a few of its members, and it had brought word of the location of chadz - the cave outside which RandomDude and his companions now stood.
With a few torches between them, they entered the dark hole. It was moist and smelly inside, reminding RandomDude of his last visit to a whorehouse and the women within.
RandomDude motioned silently to the two ninjas and they set off ahead of the group as forward scouts. They would attempt to assassinate any guards who were unlucky enough to be in their way.
* * *
The defenders of Ichamur were being driven back and were losing ground steadily. In one ruined home lay the body of Gnus, his great maul lying where it had crushed the skull of its last donkee victim before the others had hacked Gnus to death. In another, beer lay bent over a table with his arse bared where the Donkees had used him until he died. In yet a third, Leshma was held captive whilst the confused Donkee's stood in a group trying to work out what sex he/she was (which would ultimately decide Lesma's fate before he/she died).
Ramses was hard pressed. He had lost many of his brethren and they were in a fighting retreat. One particularly large donkee stepped forward, the Nose of Gnus hanging from it's loin cloth, taken as a prize. A green ooze dripped from the nose, seemingly endless.
Ramses snarled as the donkee attacked wielding a massive sword of war. One, two, three hits he took on his shield before he found an opening and slashed out the throat of the donkee. It stood upright for a few moments, blood spurting out of its jugular, before it made a strangled cry and fell to its knees.
Ramses stepped forward, snatching the Nose of Gnus from the donkee.
Silently promising to himself he would see the nose returned to its body later, Ramses readied hiself for the next opponent and fought on.
* * *
Burrick's head was ringing. Weapons clanged against his armour as the donkees sought to end his life. He tried to block the attacks but there were too many. He was being pushed backwards and backwards. He knew that behind him was a mound of bodies piled against a wall and soon he could backtrack no more.
Again and again, the donkees rained blows against his armour.
Then inside Burrick's head, something snapped.
"This... makes... me.... ANGRY!!!" he yelled as he saw red and kicked out in front of him. He caught one of the donkee's in its groin and it keeled over, in obvious pain.
Burrick swung his great maul and crushed another's skull. He swung again and again, forgetting about defence, and donkee after donkee died. Two score died before the rest ran braying away, Burrick giving chase as fast as he could. Suffice to say he didn't catch them.
* * *
The templars were cornered. They were ready to make a ragged last defence and had accepted their fate. No reinforcements could come because the situation was exactly the same in every part of the city. The donkee-soldiers were just too numerous.
Vincent-Ruth was injured. She couldn't make full use of her flamberge because of her wounded arm and so she waited with the other wounded behind the shield wall, waiting for death.
The donkee-soldiers attacked. More donkee's fell but as time wore on, so did the templars. First one, then another, then another. Preparing herself as best she could, Vincent-Ruth gripped her flamberge and waited patiently for the foe that would slay her.
Another templar fell and a donkee stepped through, aiming a vicious blow at Vincent-Ruth's head.
Ducking, she stabbed the donkee in the leg. It wasnt a mortal wound, but it was enough to make the donkee bray in pain. Vincent-Ruth used the time to make a better thrust, piercing the donkee's heart. It fell forward silently.
Templars were dying everywhere and then suddenly a miracle happened. The donkees ran.
"What's happening?" One of the templars cried out.
It wasn't long before one of the lookouts atop the highest buildings gave word.
The donkee legions had been attacked in the flanks outside the city by the Great Khan's on the right and the Nords on the left.
Carnage ensued, and donkees were dying everywhere, felled by lance, arrow and axe.
Tor was cleaving a path with his mighty axe, whirling it around in a dance that meant only death for those within its reach.
The Nord shieldwall advanced steadily, slaying and slaughtering as it pressed ever deeper into the donkee ranks.
The Great Khan cavalry had already breached far into the donkee horde in wedge formation, but now the press of donkees was getting thick and their horses started to slow and rear, creating a deadly situation for the riders.
The Nord advance was also halted, as the Donkee-Soliders turned to face the new threat.
Men began to fall, horses died and the donkees began to push them back.
Beyond the hills obscuring the line of sight, even more donkees were being mustered, preparing to attack. Preparing to kill.
* * *
Thomek and Khorin advanced steadily. A dozen donkee soldiers already lay dead and not one of them had sounded the alarm.
The cave had a main tunnel, with occasional passageways branching off from time to time.
They had kept to the main path, and marked the way with chalk to make sure the rest of the party didn't make a wrong turn.
Dark clad and silent, the ninja's were in their element here. Their shurikens and throwing daggers made short work of the unarmoured donkees.
After some time, the main passageway opened up into a vacuous chamber. Although filled with torches, the extent of the chamber was unknowable.
A deep, rumbling laughter sent a chill down the ninjas spines.
Then, the forboding voice spoke. "Fools. You have brought a few where a hundred would not be enough. DIE!"
With that, shapes started to move from the shadows. Hundreds of them.
The ninjas ran to where the deep voice originated and the dark figures moved to intercept them
Ducking under a vicious blow meant to take his head off, Thomek slashed out with his katana and felt metal meet skin and bone. He rolled forward past this first opponent and disembowled another that sought to block his path.
Khorin was making similar skillful moves on Thomek's right hand side, katana slashing left and right, riposting and dismembering faster than the eye could see.
A donkee's head rolled past Khorin when he heard a painful cry from Thomek. Risking a moment to look, he saw Thomek half kneeling on the ground, a blade having taken a meaty chunk from his leg.
Meeting Khorins gaze, Thomek shook his head and shouted for Khorin to go on alone.
Knowing that his friend could only buy him moments, Khorin pressed on leaving Thomek to face death alone.
A grand pyramidical stairway greeted him, leading to a large platform atop which rested a giant throne.
Atop the throne, a massive man sat, watching Khorin and the slaughter of Thomek intently.
The giant man's voice rumbled again. "Time to die, little assassin."
'Time for you to diet!' thought Khorin as he bounded up the stone stairs, three at a time.
The giant man rose from his throne, and picked up a massive hammer, readying it for battle.
'One hit from that and I go splat.' thought Khorin.
He dived past the giant man and slashed once, twice, three times into the back of its massive leg.
The giant man roared and swung his hammer.
* * *
Ichamur was falling. The defenders were being pushed back once again, the Nords were in danger of being surrounded and overwhelmed, and the Great Khans were trying to fight their way back out of the donkee horde. All the while, they lost man after man, and their numbers dwindled.
Surveying all this, Nebun decided something.
Now was the time to use the secret weapons.
"Unleash the secret weapons!" Nebun cried.
"Unleash the secret weapons!" Other voices took up the cry and it echoed around the city.
"Unleashing secret weapon number one!" Other voices answered back.
From out of the city ran a team of naked rageballers. They passed balls back and forth between them, and threw stones at the donkee's to get their attention.
Enraged, the donkees followed them as the naked runners ran as fast as they could in circles until they were sure they had as many donkees following them as they could.
Cirilla, her lithe feminine body bouncing up and down knew that now was the time and she signaled the city by throwing a rageball far into the sky, aiming to land in the centre of the city.
"Unleashing second secret weapon!"
From atop buildings and rocks, the DTV'ers stood, ready for their part in the plan.
Bringing the donkee horde to the DTV'ers, the naked rageball team clambered on to where the DTV'ers were entrenched.
Little by little, the donkees became stuck. First only a few, and then more and more as the naked runners led them through the carefully prepared DTV maze.
Archers from the city walls began taking their toll on the stuck donkees and hope glimmered for a moment.
Then a loud braying was heard and the second donkee army was unleashed against Ichamur.
Having disengaged from the donkee legions, the Nords and Great Khans rushed inside the city, preparing for the final stand.
The rageball team started to lose men as their stamina flagged and the donkees caught up.
DTV'ers were pulled brutally from their perches or pierced with missiles and started to die in droves.
Once again Ichamur was in danger.
* * *
Following the marks left by the ninja's, RandomDude and the remaining five members of the death party made steady progress through the cave tunnels.
Only once had the encountered a donkee patrol and the fighting had been swift and fierce. Luther had taken a wound to the upper arm but apart from that, the party were unhurt.
Sounds of fighting reached them and they hurried their pace.
A death cry greeting them as they entered the huge chamber and then something sailed through the air to land at RandomDude's feet with a wet splat.
The head of Khorin.
Kicking it aside, RandomDude motioned for his party to fan out.
Songs are still sung about the fight to end chadz' life and the battle that those six went through.
It was six against hundreds.
In the van was RandomDude. His flamberge was like an extension of his own body, cleaving left and right. Donkee limbs went flying in all directions. Izu the warrior woman was to RandomDude's left. Her flamberge too carved a bloody path as they made their slow advance. The metallic glint of their gothic armour grew red and sticky.
To RandomDude's right, Rogue wielding sword and shield. The mighty leader of the Holy Roman Empire followed RandomDude to certain death like a loyal dog.
Tomas Of The Many Clothes, came next, using a sharp dagger and buckler, his strikes precise and deadly. His crossbow lay forgotten on the floor. There was no time to reload in such a situation.
Luther was the fifth, clutching a handful of throwing axes, he downed five donkees before they even came close before he took out his axe and started the butchers work.
Friedrich, The Shield, was last. He took blow after blow upon his shield yet it never broke. He covered the death party's rear well.
An opening in front of them appeared and RandomDude saw their chance, calling for Rogue to follow him, the duo bounded up the stairs to face the mighty chadz.
With a leering grin, the giant chadz licked Khorin's blood from his massive hammer.
"More cattle to the slaughter!" His deep voice boomed.
Fixing chadz with a pentrating stare, RandomDude barked his war cry and rushed forward.
After a dozen exchanges, it wa clear that RandomDude and Rogue would die.
chadz was just too strong.
RandomDude knew what he must do, and the sacrifice was necessary.
Yelling to Rogue to engage chadz, RandomDude moved behind Rogue, preparing to strike.
Loyally, Rogue did as he was bid and chadz grinned at his next vicitm.
What happened next isnt told in the ballads or songs, but known only to a few.
As Rogue readied his shield, RandomDude kicked him from behind, making Rogue lose his footing, presenting chadz with an easy kill.
Swinging his massive hammer, chadz crushed Rogue like an insect, falling into RandomDudes trap.
As his friend died, RandomDude let loose his powerful swing, aimed directly at chadz' head.
Having no time to recover from his killing blow, chadz' head rolled off his body and slowly rolled down the stairway, making wet squelching sounds on every stone.
So ended the life of chadz, master of Donkees.
* * *
At Ichamur, the donkees suddenly keeled over and pranced about on all fours. The death of their master left them with the intelligence of normal donkees. They were a threat no more.
Xant and Bjord had been found in an alleyway, dead. The lovers hands grasping towards each other before they finally passed away.
Surveying the carnage, the question was asked "What the fuck do we do with all these equus africanus asinuss now?"
No-one could come up with a good answer and calradia had a massive carrot shortage for years to come.
The Calradians felt safe enough to start making war upon each other.
Old hatreds and feud rose up and the bitter wars that had rocked Calradia before the Donkee menace, started up again.
Little did they know that in a secluded sorcerors tower, the evil Al-Adin planned his next dark incursion into Calradia.