cRPG
cRPG => Buy => The Marketplace => Strategus => Topic started by: FRANK_THE_TANK on April 10, 2012, 03:38:13 pm
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Oh, now I remember I own it by birth rite!
Let the war rage on, sorry for the inconvenience.
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Gomers Submission
(Please give + or -)
The Legend of chadz
It all started when the great wizard of the east and the great wizard of the west ejaculated into a cup and stirred it. They handed it to great witch of the north who with her holy turkey baster made the great warrior chadz. Sadly chadz, an Orphan his whole life never knew his destiny, he only knew he was broke. He needed Denars for his quickly rising lotto debts and his old profession of market vendor has been bankrupted by the new taxes. Quickly he developed a drinking problem. A drinking porblem of fait that is.
Woken upto a bartenders coin purse he began the day on a bad start. With his head on fire and a empty pocket he began to stumble outside. But before he reached the door he noticed a man with a clipboard and a sack of Denars. Quickly he found himself enlisted in the army of Swadia with the rank of Cannon fodder. Thus began his first taste of combat.
A short two weeks later the town was invaded by Bandits. His small detachment of 30 Soldiers was thrown against 200 crazy ass bandits. As his men scrambled into a weak skirmish formation his commander road to parley with the bandit commander who in return beheaded him. He shouted "We shall bring chaos upon this town if anyone shows resistance, leave now or be ass raped". Looks of fear shot between the small group of men. They all began to slowly walk back but one. chadz stood firm. He yelled at his men. "Two hundred knights cannot break our lines!". The men bewildered and confused still in a slow retreat ignored his crazy blabber. Just then he pulled a blanket off a stack of wicker baskets. Those baskets where filled with Masterwork Longbows and Bodkin arrows. The men quickly chuckled and formed back into ranks. Little did they know these "bandits" happened to be only a scout contingent of The Turks. Soon 1500men fully equipped in plate armor appeared. Strangely the towns enlistment was also filled. A moment later the god CMP fell from the sky and BANished all the Turks.
Although the men only experienced minuets of the battle they earned enough experience to launch them through the first 40years of there life. chadz quickly rose through the ranks and was awarded Fisdnar as his command. Little did he know the land of Fisdnar would never be his. But never the less he road into his new fief with his title of lord and a army of 500 heavily equipped well trained men. They presided in peace there for two weeks in till reports of many confiscated bagpipes appeared.
Three weeks into his command a party of 30 men road into the town at there lead was Frank_The_Tank. At the town gates he was ordered to disarm. But that order didn't fase him one bit. He road through the gate at full gallop and his porcession follow'd. (Strangly Fisdnar is a cold as fuck mountain town yet all of them where wearing quilts).
Just then chadz and his commanders where in an adjacent building disscussing the building of a mail service. chadz and the group of officers walked to the town center and pushed there way through the crowd.
Frank soon replied, "So this is LORD chadz of Fisdnar?"
chadz in response said, "This is infact he and he orders you to disarm."
Frank with chuckel replied, "You have no place to order me or anyone in this town around."
chadz confused replied, "You are one crazy drunk you, I am the lord of this fief and I order you to disarm or die." (Just then the sound of bagpipes played from afar)
Frank with firey eyes yelled, "YOU MAY HAVE THE TITLE OF LORD BUT YOU WILL NEVER TAKE MY HOURLY TAX!!!!!!"
Just then every resident in town pull'd off there paints and began to play bagpipes. Then through the gates stormed 1000men with the pink Free Peasants of Fisdnar banner.
chadz still confused on weather they have underwear on underneath there quilts or not yelled, "FUCK YOU GUYS IF YOU KILL ME I'LL JUST FUCKING BAN YOU ALL"
Just then Gomer appeared on his courser and neon pink heraldic mail with his gold and diamond studded Deli cap and exclaimed "BAN US IF YOU MAY BUT THIS IS LIKE A GOOD %25 OF THE GAamES POPULATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (still holding out the O he pulls out a practice dagger and hits him like 20 times in till he finally kills him)OOOOOOOOOOOOOON".
Just then Frank_The_Tank re appeared and a strange purple message appeared in the sky "Lord Frank_The_Tank rightful owner of Fisdnar has joined the World".
From then on Frank and his bagpipes took the world of cRPG by storm. The world went into peace for the next 400 years and franks ansestors still to this day rule. Obama_The_Tank?
(810 Words excluding the title I wrote in MLA but it didn't transfer well to this forum so I rewrote in standard form)