My favourites:
Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"
Kinky bitch.
You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there?
That's God playing Sims, he just cancelled your action.
What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in this country?
Sexy kids.
What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
A few clever ones:
I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
I shot someone with a starting gun.
I've been charged with race crimes
The plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat.
Pahahaha just saw this and had to add it: http://www.cracked.com/article_18522_least-adorable-misunderstanding-by-child-ever-5Bcomic5D.html