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Topics - Armpit_Sweat

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1
... and all the other things floating around out there / Android games
« on: May 19, 2016, 07:31:09 pm »
Haven't checked if there is such a topic already, so if there is one - let me know and I will lock this one.
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Got myself a Lenovo tablet, and I wonder if there are any decent strategy games for it?.. I obviously didn't buy it for gaming, but since it's a quad core 1.8 with 2gb ram, I presume it can handle something similar to Civilization, Dwarf Fortress / Gnomoria, or may be SimCity?..

I have browsed the default "Google gameshop", and there are few interesting titles ( terraria f.ex. ), but is it really the only place to get Android games from?..

May be someone knows an indie title specifically designed for tablets? I'm interested in a strategy game, as it seems to be something that can work as well as on pc/console.

Thank you in advance! :)

2
General Discussion / Guess and win 500k cRPG gold ( Closed for submissions - WE HAVE A WINNER! )
« on: February 02, 2016, 03:42:22 am »
I like to buy cheap plants in a supermarket, and last week i got myself something that looked like an onion in a pot. There was no name-tag on it, and the cashier didn't know what it is either. So i had it for about 7 days now, and it seems to be growing well, that top part wasn't there when i got it, that means it's growing quickly and feeling ok.

Now to the point! The rules are simple!
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Guess what color the flower will be and get 500.000 cRPG gold.
Bonus points for the one who can guess both the color + plant name. So if some one gets both right, he has the winning priority.
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Everyone likes free stuff - so don't be shy! Judging by the growing rate, I suspect the color to be visible in a few days, a week at most.

P.S. I hope it will not die before blossoming, in any case, i will update the progress.

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Witness The Pink Hyacinth of Eternal Glory:

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The first prize of 500.000 cRPG Gold goes to:

Pogosan for his spot-on prediction: 

Quote from: pogosan on February 02, 2016, 04:10:34 am
It's definitely hyacinth and I go with pink.

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I have 100.000 more gold to spare, and so Butan deserves a second place with his charming and precise Lavender Pink:

Quote from: Butan on February 02, 2016, 02:00:39 pm
Lavender pink.

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Please setup a sell order on the market and link it here or in a PM. :D

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3
... and all the other things floating around out there / Species: Artificial Life
« on: May 15, 2015, 12:44:03 am »
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Species: Artificial Life
Click the above link to download alpha version.
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Copy/paste from the official website:
 
What is Species?
 
Species: Artificial Life, Real Evolution is a scientifically-accurate natural-selection video game. It allows you to experience evolution first-hand, simulated from the very first principles of evolutionary science:
 
Variation (every creature is uniquely defined by it’s genes),
Mutation (child creatures are randomly modified versions of their parents), and
Natural Selection (the environment affects every creature in their struggle to survive).
 
With these principles as it’s gameplay mechanics, Species recreates the same unguided pressures that drove the development of all life on earth over the last 4 billion years.
 
Whether you just want to observe, watching and studying as the tree of life constructs itself from a single species, or you want to be an active influence on the development of the species in the game, is up to you.
 
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Played for about an hour so far, and my worm-like creatures have developed some sort of tentacles:
 
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This one is the most advanced specimen.
 
I have fooled around with climate changes too much - as it turns out the temperature adjustment is very severe, so I had some sort of volcanic lava surface on my island in a very short time, so the creature population dropped from 400+ specimens to 6... I had to nurture the remaining few by manually feeding and resurrecting them. 
 
(click to show/hide)

They look like bipedal dicks, just like nature intended!

Experiencing some sort of "seasonal" population changes, when the numbers grow to 50+ and suddenly drop back to around 15-20.
 
Used the "radiation" tool on some of the creatures, but it's hard to say if it had any effect... I just click and see what's going to happen at this point.
 
(click to show/hide)

 
This tiny coastal region is all what's left of once prosperous worm society... I have no idea why there is so much sand everywhere :( There is an option to hand-pick and place creatures, so i might manual redistribute some at a later point.
 
The game is very ugly and it crashed 2 times in a course of a single hour, but there is something about it... The alpha is free, and it's like a 90mb file - so grab it and see for yourselves!
 
There seems to be an option of exporting/importing creatures, so i will let it run for a while and post some ugly mfckers that i have created :)

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EDIT:

Having some sort of genetic degradation back to most primitive forms. For whatever reason, limbless worm-like creatures are back as a part of the evolutionary competition!
 
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These two guys look like giant turds...
 
I have moved some of the creatures to the opposite part of the island, hopefully it will encourage a new branch of life forms.

4
Spam / Draw-your-Dream-Team-2015 is here!
« on: December 02, 2014, 05:38:31 am »
If you missed it last year - now is your chance!
It's draw-your-DREAM-TEAM time!

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... i will do my best to fit everything nicely when we are done, this is just a rough copy/paste :)

(click to show/hide)

1. Choose a tile that you want to color.
2. Make a post in this thread to claim a tile.
3. Cut the tile out using MSPaint or an editor of your choosing.
4. Post your finished masterpiece here!

The painting will be finished around Christmas, or as soon as it's all drawn :)

Don't be shy!

Here is a link to the last years thread, for those who missed it:

http://forum.melee.org/spam/crpg-dream-team/msg938238/#msg938238

(click to show/hide)

5
General Off Topic / GTX 670 vs GTX 295
« on: November 18, 2014, 12:54:23 am »
Need a last opinion on the subject!

I have 670 installed, and I got a 295 from a co-worker, free of charge cause i am a nice guy and all :) I was exited to begin with, but after googling 670 vs 295, i found out that it's not worth it... In few tests 295 seem to outperform the 670, but overall it's a downgrade, correct?..

So before i return it, will i hear anyone defending GTX 295?

What i have installed:

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And the 295 ( and my cat, cause cats add an awesomeness multiplier to any picture ):

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EDIT:
   
Card returned - thread locked, thank you for participating guys :)

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6
Spam / Make your ultimate weapon here!
« on: January 27, 2014, 11:00:17 pm »
Go on this page and click "Play" at the top.

http://pimpmygun.doctornoob.com/

Make your ultimate cRPG weapon! ( Basic buttons are similar to Paint - Move, Resize, Rotate, they are not far from "Parts" button on the left side )

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7
Spam / cRPG Dream Team - see it here! :)
« on: January 18, 2014, 06:47:28 pm »
It's draw-your-DREAM-TEAM time!

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WE HAVE DONE IT!

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Thanks to everyone who participated :) You made it happen guys!



A 1920x1080 version:
(click to show/hide)

Signature version:
(click to show/hide)

Last raw version:
(click to show/hide)

8
Spam / The Temple of Spam
« on: January 10, 2014, 09:33:53 am »
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Welcome to the Temple of Spam!

OTL
to your High Lord, and leave SPAM!


9
General Off Topic / A Call to Arms!
« on: July 29, 2013, 12:42:28 pm »
Behold! The Three Messengers of Apocalypse!
 
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Giant flying insects are my only weakness, my most dreadful enemy, one that makes me run in fear and hide in the bathroom, while my wife steps up and takes the fight! Some might fear sharks and alligators, some shiver in a presence of a snake, but not me!
Alligators do not sneak through your window late at night, to torment your soul with terrible buzzing noises! Snakes do not flap their hairy wings against your head while you are asleep, only to vanish without a trace, when you turn on the lights! As aggressive and vicious as they are, sharks will never try to get caught up in your hair, sending you on a hysterical rolling rampage in a public place!
 
It is late July, the time when all of these satanic abominations come out of their cocoons, to wage an unholy war on all living. It is time for me to come out from the bathroom and fight! My dear Brothers and Sisters! Let us unite in this desperate hour of need, and stand as one against the forces of unspeakable evil! Our ancestors and future generations are looking upon us from the depths of time, to judge us by what we have accomplished today! Our unity and courage will be our shield, our righteous primeval hatred will be our weapon!  We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Moth after moth... hornet after hornet... cricket after cricket... hive after hive...

10
Spam / Share a page from your diary!
« on: June 25, 2013, 03:59:00 pm »
... I woke up 6:55 in the morning to a sound of a leafblower under my window, exactly 15 minutes before my alarm-clock. One too many times, have i lost my precious sleeping time to that horrible noise.
There was no time to waste! I rushed to the kitchen, and emptied my morning bladder into a cooking pot, mixed it with lumps of solidified cat-piss from the litterbox, and finally set the whole thing to boil. Focus Armpit! FOCUS! There is no time to lose!

As I was filling the pot with premium ingredients, my wife began to mumble about "all that noise" and something about me being a "good for nothing small dick loser" who wouldn't "let her sleep". I show you! I SHOW ALL OF YOU!! With cougars' grace and power of a rhino, i jumped on my half-sleeping spouse, and choked her until my fingers got pale - there will be no mercy for anyone who dares to oppose me today! With un-human savagery, i ripped off her pants and raped her lifeless body. Who is a loser now?! Huh?!! And my dick is bigger than yours! That's right! Got nothing to say now, do you?!

By the time i was done with her, my piss-soup was boiling and ready to fulfill it's destiny: to be emptied on the head of that leafblower outside. And out through the window it went! Ah, the sweet music of his agony was a sign of a direct hit! But there was little time to enjoy it - i had to make sure he was dead before my neighbors call the authorities! The leafblowing dude was swirling like a worm, trying to make his way to the road - few more meters and it might be too late! Oh no, you don't! To the emergency stash!

Deep under the bed - a small plastic box filled with 90% pure Colombian cocaine. My stupid wife never knew about it, and never will, he-he-he. By the power of Colombian Gods of Awesome, i have now become an immortal force of vengeance! GRAWWWRRR!! I roared as a wounded elephant, launching my eight years old, 60 kg plasma screen out through the window. The sheer astronomical power of this act, sent shockwaves of energy through the entire building, popping windows and setting off car alarms. Breathing heavily, i looked out to inspect the crash site - spirits granted me a superior precision: leafblowerman's piss-covered body have been cut in half!

Tear of joy were running down my enlightened face, as i was sending a thanksgiving prayer to our Lord! I was once more free to sleep in peace, and receive a much needed rest before i have to go off to work!


11
Spam / TAKE A TEST
« on: June 03, 2013, 06:50:57 pm »
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TAKE A TEST


My top 3:
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Schizotypal    ||||||||||||||||||||    82%
Avoidant        ||||||||||||||||||      78%
Borderline      ||||||||||||||||||      74%
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EDIT:

Another Test

Took that one too, just out of curiosity, and I am not even shitting you:

(click to show/hide)

12
Spam / Draw Adolphin Thread!
« on: April 15, 2013, 09:07:17 am »
Draw adolphin, and post your masterpiece here!
It will be awesome!

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I will post adolphin every day, until it picks up a little.

13
Spam / Happy Easter Everyone!
« on: March 27, 2013, 11:27:14 pm »
Happy Easter Everyone! I urge you to spend these holidays with your loved ones, keeping this message as close to your hearts, as i do:

(click to show/hide)

EDIT: updated image link

14
General Off Topic / How would your country/government deal with a Dragon invasion?
« on: March 07, 2013, 02:48:45 pm »
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A realistic scenario in case of a Dragon invasion in your country:
 
A single Skyrim-type dragon appears in the center of your city. Some limited property damage, multiple injuries and few deaths have been reported. Live news streams all over the internet, TV and radio. Dragon appears to be chaotically hostile - think a predator-in-a-trap behavior patterns. 

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What will happen in the next 24 hours?
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Here is my bet for Copenhagen, Denmark:
 
Multiple police, ambulance and fire trucks arrive to the scene within the first half an hour. Extreme panic among the general population in 1 km radius. Police does not engage the dragon, only secure the safe evacuation of the civilians. National alarm system is activated. Live tv broadcasts on every channel within the first hour, encouraging people to flee from certain areas and stay at home.
Home-guard arrives within the 1-2 hours to support the police efforts. Still no shots have been fired. Attempts to pacify the Dragon using sedative darts fail, due to thickness of dragon scales. Dragon attacks police helicopters. Level of panic increases, though only in the limited area around the epicenter.
Government allows the use of deadly force. A small number of military trucks engage the Dragon using heavy MGs. Trucks go up in flames. Police, Home-guard and most military personal are evacuated from the area. Finally, 4-6 hours since the first contact, jet planes and military helicopters lure the Dragon out to the sea, and terminate it using air-to-air missiles.
Emergency traffic is restored within 8 hours, most of the debris is removed within 16 hours and property restoration work is initiated. Panic is completely neutralized short after the Dragon termination is confirmed. Everyone acts like nothing happened within 48 hours. Total number of human casualties are under 10 dead, and 100 injured. An insane financial damage to the property. Taxes are raised to cover the restoration expenses - Danes blame immigrants for failing economy. Everyone votes for national-socialists during the next election.

15
Spam / I AM SO FUCKING BORED!!!
« on: February 21, 2013, 03:39:57 pm »
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