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Author Topic: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!  (Read 926 times)

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Offline Gomer

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The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« on: September 12, 2013, 01:15:11 am »
One upon a time not to long ago. A hero from the place us Americans send aid to feed there children or Europe was playing a shitty game that attracted nerds like shit attracts smelly. As he played it he noticed that Hey if I combine the two things nerds love most I can bait them in to my game and perhaps even make a forum where these nerds will treat me as a god. So he combined the two essential ingredients to nerd nirvana. One grinding, turning mindlessly work into %2 buffs. Two he added the false thought that the game is able to be balanced (witch he still GIGGLES at). Upon combination of these elements and a few sexy seductive lines of code he created cRPG. Soon nerds from around the world smelled the sent of tears rage and trolls thus drew them in like rapist drawl in children. Here is where the story truly takes a bad turn. Chad soon after noticed that people enjoyed the game and there wasn't enough rage to keep these nerds from going flaccid. So he removed all ability to earn exp at a reasonable rate. Soon after he noticed that people enjoyed there class. So he neRFed those. (THEN HE NOTICED GOMER HAD A FLAMING PINK DICK VANNER THAT EVERYONE LOVED SO HE REMOVE THAT.) Then he noticed the more he pissed them off the longer they stayed and the more they played. So he added strat the game were the real ego maniacs can shine. Now that all these nerds were in cardiac arrest the final stroke of his plan was able to be lightly curried across the genitals of the player base. A donate button. Soon after he was able to complete the goal of the mod. Buy a plane ticket to America. The end
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Offline Tyefire

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2013, 01:16:40 am »
WARNING: DO NOT READ WASTE OF TIME.
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You can breathe..this is not a dream I really just slayed you.

Offline Vodner

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2013, 01:19:27 am »
You stopped short of the good part, where Gomer gets muted takes a vow of silence, and goes on an adventure to discover the long-lost technique of paragraphs.
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Offline Gomer

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2013, 01:25:50 am »
Grammar is for people who write stuff worth reading not this smut.
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Offline Tears of Destiny

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2013, 01:29:48 am »
Belated Welcome Back, Gomer.
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I'm not normal and I don't pretend so, my approach is pretty much a bomb crescendo.
Death is a fun way to pass the time though, several little bullets moving in staccato.
The terror of my reign will live on in infamy, singing when they die like a dead man's symphony.

Offline Grumpy_Nic

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2013, 08:39:02 am »
gimme back those 2 minutes it took me to read that
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Offline Vibe

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2013, 08:40:41 am »
go home gomer
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Offline Tears of Destiny

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2013, 09:50:13 am »
Quote from: Havelle Registered Voter on September 12, 2013, 08:54:04 am
Most Americans can't read unless you are rich and can afford state-funded Zionist schools. Those who don't go are drafted in to the army or national guard whose purpose is to oppress minorities at home. I'm not sure who you are addressing with this post.


As a rich American, I can confirm this.
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I'm not normal and I don't pretend so, my approach is pretty much a bomb crescendo.
Death is a fun way to pass the time though, several little bullets moving in staccato.
The terror of my reign will live on in infamy, singing when they die like a dead man's symphony.

Offline Thovex

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2013, 11:23:08 am »
Quote from: TyeFire on September 12, 2013, 01:16:40 am
WARNING: DO NOT READ WASTE OF TIME.

Did anyone ever read anything Gomer said?
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Offline Fartface

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2013, 11:30:09 am »
Quote from: Thovex on September 12, 2013, 11:23:08 am
Did anyone ever read anything Gomer said?
Certainly not me.
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Offline Armpit_Sweat

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2013, 11:53:30 am »
Would you guys sign up for Moon colonization?.. Let's say, a 10 year contract?..
 
I wonder if someone shot their jizz in orbit... I bet someone did, and it would fly across the station, and he would try and catch it before someone sees it, but he would fail, and the jizz would get stuck behind some electronic dashboard. Would the release pressure make you spin? I mean, if you shoot a gun, it would push you back, so both - bullet and yourself would fly in opposite directions, right?..

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  Spam at The Temple of Spam

Offline zagibu

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2013, 04:40:03 pm »
Fucking space pyjamas ftw.
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 Why am I beswung by sharpe and pointed utensyls?

Offline Sniger

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Re: The Story of cRPG. By Gomer!
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2013, 01:58:03 pm »
i read it and i lol'ed.

yup, theres a closet-troll in every dev.

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