Teamkilling helps no one
I’ve done many wrong things. Needless to say, I'm not a perfect player - I lied and cheated, griefed and abused, and the sorrow of having done that will haunt me forever. However, it's teamkilling that had the biggest part of my gaming experience for a long time.
Sigmund Freud's theory explains teamkilling as one of the forms of showing one's passion towards another person. Especially in videogames, where there are very limited ways of communication, expressing your feelings is often hard and many people struggle to let others know about their true intentions or feelings. According to Freud's theory, teamkilling happens when some person has contradictory sexual feelings about another person, and feels like having chat and voice commands available is not enough to express it all, so they choose the only other way of communication left and that is teamhitting. The amount of teamhits and the damage they deal to the heart of this other person usually goes proportionally to the strength of the feeling the teamhitting person has. Sometimes a person has to kick their teammate off the wall to show that the pain of the fall equals the pain in their heart, and that this person (e.g. me) has no other way to express himself. I know, not everyone appreciated the way I expressed myself. Some got offended by that, and I do understand and do regret it. My intention was never to harm any of the players around me, I only wanted to show them how much I love them, and to be loved as well. It didn't go well, I see.
I'm not saying I did a good thing doing all these teamhits. And besides, the Freud's theory has received more and more critique over the last decade, and many scientists consider it invalid at all. I have read a lot of materials about that, scientific reports and deep analyses, I watched some films about Freud's theories as well. Now I can openly say that I see how wrong we were, me and Freud. We were delusional. I know Freud doesn't care anymore, but I do! And I want to redeem myself. I don't believe in Freud now, but I do believe in karma instead. If teamkilling and blatant abuse is what I am be remembered for, then my karma will be spoiled in the Melee: BG game, and I will be reborn as a peasant or a horse, or a donkey. I fear such fate. But the only way for me to fix my karma in this game is by being unbanned and by doing good deeds.
And so I say – please, unban me, dear admins. Without you I will not be able to make any good from my karma again. Teamkilling didn't help me to express my feelings. Teamkilling helps no one. So I shall continue learning English better to express myself with words instead. I believe, one day I will be able to say "I love you" to everyone of you, because I do, without being afraid of getting misunderstood or ashamed. Because sometimes we all need to say "I love you".
P.S. Pardon me if this essay isn't serious enough. In fact, I am feeling really sorry for all my mistakes I did in the past. I want to offer my apologies to everyone who has been teamkilled by me. Forgive me please :oops:
Written by Macropus (http://forum.melee.org/index.php?action=profile;u=18923) (except the p.s. fragment)