Author Topic: Ismirala Tavern  (Read 1862 times)

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Offline kukufarikki

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Ismirala Tavern
« on: November 05, 2011, 09:08:27 pm »
+4
(( NO OOC PLZ SRS ROLEPLAY ))

Eazio Crossbotore walks through the doors of the old building, stopping in the door way and looking around. Inside he sees many people chatting and drinking, a majority possessing neckbeards. He walks up to a table full of knights wagering on which one of their weapons will become unusable next. "Salvete, how is it going?" Eazio takes a seat and waves at the local whore to come over and sit on his lap.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2011, 09:09:35 pm by kukufarikki »
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Quote from: Gildiss
I saw Tears and Shik put a bag over Goatee's kind innocent head and put him into the back of a FEMA truck! WAKE UP CRPG!

Offline SeQuel

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2011, 09:13:49 pm »
0
Awwe man, why you gotta stop at such a good part? Keep going!

Offline kukufarikki

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2011, 09:14:08 pm »
+1
Awwe man, why you gotta stop at such a good part? Keep going!

(( It was an icebreaker. ))

Looking at the men sitting at his table, Eazio began to speak, caressing the whore on his lap. "How goes the chicken feathers trade? I hear it's very profitable to sell them in Rebache." Eazio stopped talking to drink from his cup full of bubbly water and eat a puffy cheesy thing. The men around his table looked very ill, with many pimples on their faces and worms crawling through their ever-so-fashionable neckbeards. "Actually, mister, it's better to make reindeer meat in Sumbuja and trade it in Rebache, HEH," replied a rather hefty knight. "My horse knows more about trading than you." Eazio immediately pushed the whore off of his lap and slapped the man, yelling "Oi mate watch who you're talking to!" Eazio then sat back down and continued eating his cheese puffs.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2011, 09:30:04 pm by kukufarikki »
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Quote from: Gildiss
I saw Tears and Shik put a bag over Goatee's kind innocent head and put him into the back of a FEMA truck! WAKE UP CRPG!

Offline SeQuel

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2011, 09:18:22 pm »
-1
What a cliff hanger, I have no many unanswered questions.

Offline alkaowni

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #4 on: November 06, 2011, 06:39:20 am »
0
(( hello ))

Honald smelt the crisp air as he walked into the tavern. Eyeing the various patrons he begins to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. Seeing a man getting slapped by another, he quickly hurried into a corner until the crisis was over. Walking over to the man who slapped the other man, he sighed. "Hey buddy, you're violence is messing up the atmosphere of this tavern... Chill out mate.."
as long as 1 alkaowni lives.......... can the alkaownis truly be deadd?
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Offline Lewp

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #5 on: November 07, 2011, 10:40:45 pm »
+3
Lewp checked the time on his ye olde time keeper, muttered something about being back in approximately six minutes, then left leaving his satchel behind. The tavern promptly exploded due to an un-related incident and Lewp returned horrified to learn that his satchel full of potatoes were promptly mashed by the explosion.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2011, 11:30:40 pm by Lewp »

Offline Gristle

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #6 on: November 07, 2011, 11:24:23 pm »
0
((Watch?! briefcase?! No time traveling characters allowed!))

Offline Lewp

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #7 on: November 07, 2011, 11:30:51 pm »
+1
FIXED FOR HISTORICAL ACCURACY

Offline Hobb

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2011, 06:38:52 am »
+1
Hobb was pacing the room with a fierceness only Hobb could muster when Zoleta appeared on the steps of the Jayek town hall. He was carrying a large pack over his ragged clothes worn from travel and misfortune. Zoleta hurried up the steps and entered. He said, "sorry i am a little late master Hobb but i...." "A little ate!?!?!" Hobb said "You were supposed to be back from Ismirla 3 days ago, what took you?" Zoleta set his set his pack on the table and took a deep breath. "Well, after  selling my smoked cod fish at the local market in town i started the search for the particular item you wanted master... I met a fellow by the name of Lewp, or so he called himself. He told me to meet him at the tavern that night and he would have the goods ready to sell." Hobb pulled out a chair from the table and sat down. He saw Zoleta's eyes set their gaze at the water pitcher sitting on the table. Hobb grabbed the pitcher and threw it against the wall, shattering it into pieces. "Then why are you just now returning??" Beads of sweat began forming on Zoleta's forehead. His voice quivered as he spoke, "Well master, it was only morning when i met this lewp feller and i went to the inn to take a nap.... I guess somehow i overslept." Hobb's face went cold. Zoleta waited for the awkward silence that followed to end before continuing. "After realizing i overslept i rushed to get my belongings and hurried to the tavern. When i went outside however, the town was in chaos and smoke was coming from the direction of the tavern. I made my way to the tavern only to find it destroyed. Lewp was nowhere to be found. However, i found the good's lewp promised in a satchel within the debree of the tavern. My heart sank as i saw they were indeed mashed to a pulp." Zoleta made his way to his pack and began opening it. He said, "I spent the next three days looking around the town for more of the goods and then after i got what you wanted i returned home." Hobb looked at the pack, "So you got the 50 tomatoes i wanted then??" Zoleta froze, "......Tomatoes?? I thought you wanted me to get potatoes?"

Offline Snatch

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2011, 07:54:17 am »
0
The fuck is this?
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Offline KaMiKaZe_JoE

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2011, 02:31:31 am »
+1
He gently caressed his sweet heart--the love of his life. He smiled at the touch, noting how her warmth mirrored that of the sunlight which played upon his naked, well muscled body. She tossed her head back and laughed, her laughter like bird song.

"It stinks in here."

"Ha," JoE barked "that's not my fault, is it?" He tossed a handful of hay, playfully.

She counter attacked, and soon an intense hay fight was underway. The stables shook with the din of battle, and stifled giggles. They lost themselves in each other. The last hay-ball was thrown, and JoE raised a hand, panting. "So," he said "ready for another go?"

"Yeah, bitch."

JoE smiled. In moments he had mounted her, and they were off. The duo burst through the stable door into the bright sunlight, both screaming wildly, driven to ecstasy by their passion. The Champion Courser dashed through the city streets, charging towards the nearest tavern. They burst through the tavern doors, chatting amicably, ignoring the horrified stares of the patrons.

"Call me a bitch, huh," said JoE. He scratched at his still naked ass.

"Pfff, you almost fell off." Champion Courser replied, shoving through a crowd.

A man approached, wringing a small hat nervously. "Sir...who are ye speakin with?"

JoE stared at the man. "Can you believe this cunt, my love?"

Champion Courser simply snorted in reply, a gesture Kami was familiar with.
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Offline Damatacus_ATS

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2011, 05:00:47 am »
0
Early in the day damatacus had been getting drunk in a pub, as he had just made a good bit of gold selling hemp in town. He got up to go to the bathroom and spilled his drink all over a local patron. Damatacus promptly beat this fool into a pulp with the patrons shield for causing himm to spill his beer. Soon afterwards Damatacus was approached by a man in a pilgrim disguise, the mysterious man said that he liked the way Damatacus had handledthe situation earlier and proposition him to take up a contract for the assassination of a man named lewp who would be coming by the tavern later. Damatacus accepted the contract and rigged the tavern with explosives, when he saw lewp enter the tavern he stapes outside and lit the fuse. The tavern exploded, unfortunately lewp had somehow managed to step outside shortly beforehand. So Damatacus sat down pondering how he might try again.
« Last Edit: November 10, 2011, 05:43:28 am by Damatacus_ATS »

Offline mandible/splinteryourjaw

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Re: Ismirala Tavern
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2011, 04:44:15 pm »
+1
It was the beginning of another uneventful day as mandible crawled into the tavern, stone broke he was searching the floor for loose change.  Luckily he found a few denars this day and, feeling his luck changing, he promptly emptied his just recently filled pocketbook on a pint of the house's best grog.  Mandible then found a seat far away from the crowd and began sharpening his arrowheads as he nursed the foul smelling grog.  Suddenly, the door swung open, and with a mighty thud it hit the patron closest to it knocking him and his half clothed wench to the floor.......ENTER the mighty Lewp, carrying a small satchel.  With a loud growl Lewp snatched the grog of the closest patron and, kicking the terrified man from his seat, the mighty Lewp sat down.  Witnessing such a vicious and all powerful act, many of the Tavern's patron cowered at their table, fearing making contact with the eye of Lewp.

Directly Lewp exclaimed, "What is that horrible noise." 

It was well known to all the patrons that Mandible would often sit in the rear of the tavern and make a clicking noise as he sharpened his teeth, as an old boar hog sharpens its tusks, he would then use these same teeth to sharpen his arrowheads. 

A tense and very fearful patron, stumbling to find words that would not annoy the mightily, majestic Lewp, declared, "Lewp, sir, that be Mandible....he is sharpening his cutting points with his teeth." 

Lewp declared, "that is a horrible noise it must stop NOW!!!" 

Mandible intent on his current activity, and lacking basic awareness, continued with his pursuit.  Lewp becoming infuriated by the horrible clack clack screeeeeechhhhhh approached Mandible's corner of the tavern.  The patrons smelling trouble took cover under their tables, for many knew the ire of Lewp, yet only rumors survived to speak of Mandible's anger when aroused. 

Approaching Mandible's little corner of the filthy tavern, Lewp carelessly threw his satchel onto the table and declared, "you will stop that incredibly annoying noise NOW!!!!" 

The satchel landed with a thud and slid into Mandible's Grog.  As mandible reached to save his grog, the first grog he had been able to afford since traveling to Sekhtem early in the winter; and this now being summer, he broke one of his arrowheads on his teeth.  Mandible became infuriated and was further angered by the fact that his mug had fallen to the floor spilling its entire contents.  Mandible jumped up.  Standing a head taller and a cow's ass wider than Lewp, the benevolent Mandible now turned insanely angry.  Not much for talk or words of any sort, yet demanding satisfaction, Mandible slapped Lewp across his stonelike jaw.  As Lewp's head recoiled from the vicious attack his fake gold grill, being just recently forcefully removed from its position covering the rotten teeth of Lewp, flew out the open tavern window.  Lewp demanded Mandible exit the tavern to settle the matter (and to retrieve his fake grill, of course.) 

As they turned to leave Lewp demanded of the closest tavern wench, "I will return in about 6 minutes, and I better find a freshly poured grog and YOU at my table." 

Lewp and Mandible exited the tavern and quickly entered into a violent attack upon each other.  As they rolled around, knotted up like lovers in SanFrancisco, they heard a loud explosion.  Turning just in time they saw the tavern turned to rubble......and a man...........a man dressed in Black Lamellar...................... running from the tavern with what looked like a trigger mechanism in his hand.  Lewp quickly grabbed his fake grill, and placing it back into his bloodied mouth he searched for his satchel.  Finding its contents completely mashed Lewp, with revenge on his mind, pursued this stranger..........................   
« Last Edit: November 13, 2011, 04:46:50 pm by mandible/splinteryourjaw »