Incoming [L]oomz! Hirlok gives away looms! (updated: results are in!)

[Tore]

Now that I'm at my computer and not my shitty phone, I think it's appropriate to post something more intelligent than a cheesy darth vader-esque scream.

Whenever I read an "I am leaving crpg" thread I've been lucky and it always seems to be a euro/someone I've never really known who is leaving. Yet every time I read "I quit" or "free looms" as a thread title I dread the day that it will one day be someone I know and care about... and finally that day has come. 

Hirlok, I've known you since I started playing some 3+ years ago. You've been a constant figure in NA2 and a reminder of its former glory... seeing you in battle always makes me reminisce about the good ole days, when you know, we would run into each other in siege 24/7 as opposed to NA1. I wish I could say that like Phew I never killed you, but we both know that's not true.    I barely carry a shield, so that makes me your target... and man, does being your target suck! You may be crippled in melee, but with 300 ping you could still hit an agi my old friend with mad jukes going full speed as a str archer (and you usually only need to hit me twice, 3 times on a good day, to end me)! While I always felt guilty about it, I must say that I consider you a priority target if you are on the opposing team... you're simply that annoying effective. Despite your melee handicap, you never once tried to run from any incoming melee, you would hold your ground to the very end. In all the time I've seen you pew pew, as soon as I got close you wouldn't turn and run, you would pull out your trusty little mace and flail like a madman.    And I respect that about you, a lot. There are plenty of NA archers who can fight in melee 10 times better than you (no offense, ping is king) and yet they still would run, simply because they could. You never chose to go that route despite the fact it might have proven beneficial to you... low ping isn't as necessary when you have 10 athletics and just turn tail and run... and that is perhaps what makes me respect you so damn much. Despite not even being from NA, you were what all NA archers should aspire to be... a manly archer! An archer who faces death head on and accepts his fate! Yes, manly archers are actually a thing, and Hirlok, you might be the only one in existence.

I could go on and on about how not only are you an NA2 vet, a real warrior, and how you're also a hilarious guy, but this post is already getting too long (and too saddening) so I think I'll cut it short here. I hope to see you real soon, man. Get to writing those books and move on over to murica so you can finally shit on all of us (in melee!) with your sub-40 ping. I look forward to the day when NA2 will bow down to a new champion, and I have no doubt that it would be you if you can get the same ping as everyone else.

Take care and best of luck in your future endeavors.

(click to show/hide)

I feel like posting your steam name should be a mandatory thing in these kind of goodbye threads, no?

http://www.youhaveautism.com/

[lombardsoup]

Another fake loom giveaway thread

Cheapskate

[Jeade]

writing/publishing a couple of books

I didn't know you were a writer! You should PM me when you get one published and I'd be happy to pick it up!

And this:

COME TO AMERICA HIRLOCK

BE FREE! LIBERTY!

USA! USA! USA!

[SugarHoe]

pls hirlok

[Jona]

You should PM me when you get one published and I'd be happy to pick it up!

Why stop at PMing one penniless liberal? Minds well just post blatantly advertise on the crpg forums, for all to see. 

[lombardsoup]

What genres, Jona?

[Skooks]

thats 2 archers in 2 days! when will it end????

[lombardsoup]

Nerf ranged again I'm enjoying the QQ

[Jeade]

Why stop at PMing one penniless liberal? Minds well just post blatantly advertise on the crpg forums, for all to see. 

Honestly I was just hoping he'd accept food stamps and unemployment checks.

[njames89]

;_;

Don't do it Hirlok

[cup457]

Virginia best state cuz very little gun laws and lands is cheap if you go out west of Richmond

[Daunt_Flockula]

Came across you on EU2 several times. You laughed off my my old friendcher-oriented half-baked insults, which I don't even ever mean seriously. I instantly liked you. As Witchcraft already said, you are a cool guy. Good luck with real life and your next destination.

[Little Lord Lollipop]

And so passes Hirlok, son of the Fatherland, resident of the third world.

and the last active ATTS member.....

(click to show/hide)

Please leave your looms in the armory so I can wipe my tears with your delightfully ragged clothes.

[Hirlok]

OP updated with loomz list - just post what you want, I'll make a drawing next week.

@bookreadingnerds: brush up your German ;-) My English is not good enough yet for any serious books, so for the time being I will publish only some small Kindle ebooks with how-tos and self-development stuff (where the writing is a bit less important) in my broken Engerish, the more serious topics will be in German (all non-fiction btw). If they sell, I will translate/re-write them with the help of a native speaker.

Steam and other (better - cuz not gaming much in the next months) ways to keep track of me old wandering hermit -> separate thread

so - post away, dem loomz should not become dull and rusty!

[Chosen1]

Can I have your morion, hirlok? I need a helmet to fit with my spanish armor