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General Off Topic / Fisting
« on: June 14, 2018, 09:35:02 pm »
Couldn't find a thread about it so starting one.

Began fisting a few weeks ago, incredibly fun! Have had a hard time getting some, but got my first one today actually! And my second and third. Got a small, 1kg dick and two balls.

Anybody else fisting?

Sell/Trade / ISO Curved 2H Blades, other 2h/1h for offer!!
« on: April 20, 2018, 08:00:54 pm »
I recently retired my archer a_hot_elf_princess and now it's a_hot_elf_prince, who will used 2h curved blades. Would love a nodachi, katana, miaodao, or falx. Also looking for long jian, baguadao or kriegsmesser.

Up for trade:

+3 dadao
+3 flambard
+3 flamberge
+3 nomad sabre

also trading

+3 mail shirt for saracen green robe or saracen mail shirt. Maybe for eastern lamellar robe or eastern star scale armor.

Flat trades, no gold, same day shipping, eligible for Amazon Prime. I would be very happy if you could help me craft an elven blade lord.

I was switching plates to a new car and had to bring my 4 year old son due to lack of babysitter. We were stuck there for a little over 2.5 hours and WITCHCRAFT JR was getting impatient, as 4 year olds do at the DMV. No tantrums, but he let out an exasperated shout now and then. Every single time, this old-ass lady in the pews in front of us (the DMV has straight up pew benches for seating, no it's not in a old church) would look over her shoulder at me. At the hour and a half mark when she stared at us again, I threw the devil horns and gave her the evilest eye I had. She didn't look over her shoulder at all at any point after that.

Do a curse on the greatest generation the fuck you lookin at you old hag you think you never been 4 years old before??

Maybe I should go to the doctor this is not heteronormative social functions...  :oops:

General Off Topic / oi m8 you're drivin me bananas
« on: April 23, 2017, 10:30:40 am »
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General Off Topic / Gym Thread 2017
« on: March 31, 2017, 10:16:09 am »
We've had several fitness threads over the years, but nothing recent unless I missed something. I was super into clean eating and hitting the gym every other day in college, but the past few years as a stay at home parent I have gotten kind of gross and dad bod. I used to be super into tour biking and long distance hikes, complemented by power lifting and HIIT cardio in the gym. It's time to bring it back again.

2 months ago I started going to the gym every other day again with my brother. It's almost always 10pm or later, after busting our asses at work. Does wonders for my insane awful insomnia. In a few weeks the weather should be good enough to get my bike out of storage. I can't wait to glide through humid summer nights, powering over hills and coasting for miles under the hazy orange glow of street lights.

What is your gym routine? In the past, I split 3 days a week between upper body, core, and leg routines. Compound lifts that work multiple muscles will tire you out and swole you up faster than any isolated motions could hope for. I am still getting back into the swing of things though, and machines are much easier to start with than free weights. After weghts, I do 20-30 minutes of high intensity interval cardio after weights, feels great to squeeze that last bit of power from your legs even on leg day.

In my old gym days, I hit 375 for reps on the leg sled. A couple weeks ago I hit 400 and god bless my tree trunks. I can't wait to go cycling and power over any hills mother nature dares put before me. If you are a bike nerd lord like me post your bike, I'll post mine when it's out of storage. It's an early/mid 80s Japanese steel frame (STEEL IS REAL) road bike that is older than me, oversize custom frame. Previous owner was 6'6" and I'm 6'2" - it's the only bike I've ever owned that I didn't need to raise the seat to use. I will cry IRL when it rusts out because it was $75 on craigslist and its replacement will probably cost as much as a used car  :(

General Off Topic / Lemme Smash
« on: February 12, 2017, 08:45:22 am »
Lemme smash.


Beginner's Help and Guides / What is the current archer meta?
« on: February 07, 2017, 07:59:25 am »
I retired my archer shortly after the rework with all the new bows added. I don't have an archer right now, but still have +3 Rus Bow and +3 Bodkins. Which of the new bows is worth using? Do you play your archer STR or AGI heavy? What melee backup weapon do you bring?

General Discussion / CRPG Moments in Classic Art
« on: February 07, 2017, 07:35:30 am »
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when the admin catch u fuckin around w/ friends
Stop hugging. Don't TK the same guy again next round.

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"The Strategus Forums"

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The banning of Havelle

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"Don't spawn with the spathions yet, guys."

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when u tk ya homie

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General Discussion / CRPG IS LIVE! wat build u still play?
« on: January 16, 2017, 07:47:30 am »
I haven't played in many months, but the last few days there have been 20+ people on NA 1 when I have time to play. Item requirement changes have forced me to respec two of my characters. I'm curious what everyone else is playing, and will share my current builds.

My Xbow character was built for old +3 Crossbow with some 1H WPF and 7 PS. Crossbow has a lower STR requirement than last time I played, so I was able to switch to an AGI heavy build. Next level, I will have 27 AGI. My reload speed and 1H WPF are much higher. My armor were all light weight low STR requirement, so now I have crazy move speed compared to before. I have only 6 PS now, but that is plenty to do damage with +3 Sai for my 1H weapon.

My 2H char had 15 STR and set of +3 Mongolian armor from the newest item sets. Some of his armor was changed to 19 STR req, so I had to respec him to wear his gear. I miss my old super AGI build with Flambard and Bar Mace +3, but with 19 STR and rest dumped in AGI he is still pretty good.

My main who is lvl 35 working to 36 retire is 27/15. While playing Viking Conquest DLC single player, I have gotten used to fast AGI builds with just enough STR for good Power Throw / Power Strike. Going back to a 27/15 CRPG char feels so awful slow in movement. Attack speed is just fine, even with something slow like Long Maul +3. It is painful to slowly creep toward flag spawns or keep up with my team.

Before CRPG "died" I was playing an 18/24 archer on my alt. She is currently 18/24 1H with shield. I still have +3 arrows and bow. Is it worth respeccing to archer build? Which is currently OP/favored, STR or AGI focus archer build?

I am so excited to see people on the servers again. I just feel so out of touch with the current "meta" if there even is one anymore. What do you feel is OP? An important part of the current meta is that server population is lower than in the past. What works better now? What should I avoid? AGI crossbow build feels like "good old times" with fantastic reload speed and high athletics/melee WPF when you have to fight close quarters.

General Off Topic / Millenials
« on: May 17, 2016, 03:43:52 am »

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Last spring, as Beckett Delaney was hoverboarding to his office in SoHo, his man bun flailing behind him in the wind, he came to an abrupt halt.

“I realized I just couldn’t work that day,” Delaney recalled recently, in between puffs of an e-cigarette outside the Bushwick Sweetgreen. “Because I hadn’t finished binge-watching Master of None.”

Delaney’s attitude is typical of his youthful cohort. Millennials—the demographic group also known as Generation Y, Generation Me, and Daesh—have found it difficult to balance dueling priorities as they exit their parents’ basements and enter the real world.

They have stacked up record student loan debt, and yet spend thousands on frivolous items like Beyoncé concert tickets and groceries; they yearn for more than just a paycheck, and yet continue to be employed in jobs that provide them with paychecks in return for their labor; and they enjoy watching television and movies, but also Vine.

“For me, the most important thing is expressing myself,” said Jewel Packard, 24, during an interview conducted via reaction GIFs in the communication app Slack. “Sometimes that means tattoos, and sometimes that means podcasts.”

Packard, who co-works at a bespoke underwear startup, and whose hobbies include 7 a.m. dance parties and sexting, said that she values her ability to express herself almost as much as she values her parents’ Netflix account.

“When it comes down to it, life is really all about finding a hashtag for yourself and sending hilarious emoji on Venmo,” Packard said, and then, after a moment of reflection, added: “Lena Dunham.”

Beckett Delaney agrees. Delaney lives in the Empire State Building, which his parents bought for him; he often invites fellow millennials, whom he meets on relationship apps, to his bedroom, so that they can kiss. (Occasionally, they copulate.)

Not that Delaney is looking to settle down. On the subject of marriage, Delaney, who practices yoga but is also an atheist, echoed an idea that the DJ/Model/Ecoterrorist Callista Larson often repeats to her hundreds of thousands of devoted Instagram followers.

“You’ve gotta ask yourself: Would you downvote the Yik Yak of your own life?” Delaney mused. His mood quickly soured. “Broad City is on,” he explained, removing a selfie stick from his man-purse.

This devotion to personal expression has presented itself in several outlets for the cosmopolitan millennial, including the $435 “Hamilton”-themed SoulCycle class in Red Hook, and the increasing popularity of Dr. Vanessa Sullivan, a hypnotherapist in Murray Hill who speaks only in references to the 1999 film She’s All That.

Whether millennials can sustain this rosy outlook as they assume corporate leadership roles and settle down with their Tinder wives is less certain.

“Millennials haven’t proven anything,” said Farley Cornmuncher, the 87-year-old Johns Hopkins professor and expert on millennial behavior. “Whether it’s their laziness, or their hookup culture, or their insistence on living with roommates, it’s clear that millennials have different values than those of us who are seventy years older than they are.”

Perhaps no one embodies this difference better than Davis Parkworth. The CEO of venture-backed shoelace marketplace Eyelet, Parkworth, 23, oversees an office where employees must give “trigger warnings” before entering the cafeteria, and where the office speaker system plays hits from Adele just as often as new tunes from 13-year-old YouTube a cappella sensation Kurtiz Blorch.

“If we’re not helping the environment, we’re not a successful company,” Parkworth enthused, wiping a kale stem from his handlebar mustache.

“Feel the Bern!” one of Parkworth’s employees shouted, generating a roar of approval from the kombucha-sipping creative team, many of whom had never applied for a mortgage or car loan. Just then Fillmore, the office rooster, strutted by. This was not your father’s shoelace company.

But then, emulating the previous generation doesn’t interest millennials like Parkworth, Packard, or Beckett Delaney.

“When I look back at my life, I want to know that I slayed,” Delaney said, using a slang term for “succeeded.” He spun in circles on his hoverboard, listening to pirated rap music and canceling his cable subscription.

“If that makes me a selfish millennial,” Delaney concluded, re-adjusting his Warby Parker monocle, “well, at least I’m keeping it 100.”

General Discussion / IDI AMIN HERE ?
« on: May 11, 2016, 01:58:43 am »
ah yup there he is

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edit: Wikipedia

General Discussion / 2016 Character Inspiration Thread
« on: January 29, 2016, 01:31:51 am »
links to old threads:



This is an amazing collection of historical outfits. A lot of them can be made exactly like the pictures with CRPG gear:
Joker's Osprey topic

Post some cool pics that make you want to play a build or loom an item!!

dagger thrower

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new crusader and saracen armor:

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dat bec de corbin

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2H plate with no helm pretty lady

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10 Power Draw archer

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plate poleaxe bro

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30+ strength longmaul build

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rock throwers

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weeaboo build

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me with a dagger

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random shit

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General Discussion / Every time I log out of crpg
« on: November 11, 2015, 02:20:12 am »
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General Off Topic / Music Videos
« on: September 18, 2015, 05:13:05 am »
The What Are You Listening To? thread is pretty similar, but this thread is for posting your favorite music videoes. You don't have to listen to the music or even like the artist! Just post music videos you Really Like! Fan music videos (even anime ones!!!) are welcome. Thanks.

I know nothing about the shield bash formula. What determines damage? Distance? Does shield skill count? Shield weight?

Seems like a speedy 1H character who focuses on shield bash would be a fun new build for my newly retired alt. Any tips? Have you played as a shield basher before?

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The sword of a Paladin represents the might of righteousness and his shield symbolizes the strength of his faith. Both are tools he uses to mete out justice. Just as righteousness can give his spirit the fortitude to overcome the attacks of the unjust, so too can faith be a weapon to strike back at those who work to defeat him. To this end, the Paladin has developed several combat techniques that use the shield not only for defense, but also as an offensive weapon.

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