Author Topic: The Archmage of The Castle White  (Read 6052 times)

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Offline Nickleback

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The Archmage of The Castle White
« on: December 15, 2018, 07:22:01 pm »
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3 days left to the final battle with Castle Black.My mage army is not duly equipped nor it is trained to fight with huge army of ghouls.I am anxious,trying to think of a plan in front of the map in my warroom.I am confused,the mage girls drained all my energy last night,i am trying to come up with a plan but can't.Oracles came in to the room and told me that either i am going to lose this battle and forfeit the castle,or a hero will come up and save me.I see there is no point in making plans now,i must find the hero that will save me,my warlords judge me for trusting the oracle.They say we should be preparing for the battle nonetheless.I,archmage of castle white left the warroom,now going back and forth thinking how can i survive a ghoul army that triple the size of my army.

Offline IR_Kuoin

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2018, 11:17:12 am »
+1
A little gnome traveler approach your castle doors selling his wares, he claim he has a potion that makes you immortal, but it comes with a price, a life long subscription of gay nude calendars.
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Offline Torben

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2018, 11:54:51 am »
+2
little does he know-  nude gay monthly is the one and only subscribtion our hero mage has been faithful to in the last years of dwindeling amounts of gold in his treasury.
Yes, I know from whence I came! Discontented as a flame, Upon myself I live and glow. All I grasp like lightning flashes, All I leave behind is ashes
Flame I am - that much I know!

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Offline Nickleback

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2018, 12:33:41 pm »
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After restless yelduryeldurht of thinking Arch-Mage was perplexed,he was overwhelmingly confused about making a strategy.Understanding he wont going to win this battle he resorted to the gnome traveler.He knew his house will be full of gay man calanders ,nevertheless,hr might win the battle with the potion's magic.He took the gnome and his potion into the warroom.

Offline Yeldur

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2018, 01:56:38 am »
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suddenly yeldur kicks down the door and screams at the top of his lungs "yeldurZIP" - the power is so strong that the entire tower collapses
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he,  the god admin.  drink the tea, not ascared to  fight in th  batefield,

Offline IR_Kuoin

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2018, 08:05:55 am »
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The mega autistic gay Zip based mage stops to ponder at the calendars hanging on the walls of his temporary room and starts masturbating, though since he is a mage, magic essence flows out of his tip.
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Offline Yeldur

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2018, 01:55:53 pm »
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really though i am not a mage and as such nothing really happens and am not afflicted by the calendars, it was all a ruse, instead i turn into an apple and roll away
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he,  the god admin.  drink the tea, not ascared to  fight in th  batefield,

Offline IR_Kuoin

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2018, 02:03:22 pm »
+3
The druid who specialized in turning into fruits managed to get as far as the castle gates until a nearby guard spotted him and picked him up and ate him.
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Offline Ikarus

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2018, 12:13:42 pm »
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Sadly, while being at his ordinary campfire shift, once the guards digestion system took on the fruit, the spell broke and the druids corpse turned back into his human form, practially imploding back to his original size inside of the guard, making a grotesque mess of two partly torn, partly hanging together corpses.

It pretty much sounded like this
https://instaud.io/34ig
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Offline Yeldur

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2018, 10:36:47 pm »
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suddenly yeldur turned into an orange, it turned out he was never an apple at all, merely an orange in disguise, a poisoned orange, the person who ate him dies putting him out of his misery
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he,  the god admin.  drink the tea, not ascared to  fight in th  batefield,

Offline IR_Kuoin

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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2018, 11:01:49 pm »
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But it turned out Yeldur did not have the ability to time travel and the scenario he saw was a dream he had after appearing in the afterlife, surrounded by 72 virgin boys.
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Re: The Archmage of The Castle White
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2018, 09:30:18 pm »
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And those 72 virgin boys lost their virginity on yeldur.yeldur turned out to be gay and having fake dreamz