How do Does Harassment Ruin Game Time for Others?
ha·rass
tr.v. ha·rassed, ha·rass·ing, ha·rass·es
1. To irritate or torment persistently.
2. To wear out; exhaust.
3. To impede and exhaust (an enemy) by repeated attacks or raids.
[French harasser, possibly from Old French harer, to set a dog on, from hare, interj. used to set a dog on, of Germanic origin.]
ha·rasser n.
ha·rassment n.
Let me begin with saying that I do not condone harassment in any way and I am very much against it. I was warned severely when I was calling kinngrimm "dimmwimm" a few times on the server and I can see how constant pecking gets to someone after a time. After my first warning, I ceased immediately and pretty much cut off contact with him in-game as much as possible to avoid misunderstandings. This time, I'm not sure who I harassed but apparently this is the reason why I was essay banned so I will have to indulge the task.
In a gaming community, and in internet communities overall, there will always be rude behaviours of every sort. Harassment is the lowest form of this behaviour. It picks its target, and in continuous efforts it attempts to annoy or torment the person targeted regardless if they react. The whole point of the harassment is that as long as nobody is there to stop it and as long as there are no rules that prohibit it, it will basically never end.
While there will always be trolls and general negative attitude, I think that harassment should be outlawed entirely. I do believe that people have the right to be assholes, as long as it doesn't get out of control and harm the atmosphere of the community. Many communities I've been a part of have always taken a spiraling descent into pecking orders, oldmy old friend/newmy old friend trends where new players are completely alienated by the older players due to egotistical reasons.
In-game, which is when you enjoy the GAME aspect of the community, you should have the comfort of knowledge that you will be able to ENJOY the game. Harassment does not allow people to enjoy the game, because it is a constant source of nuisance associated with the game. In the forums it's a different story, you can't really get away with harassment because people will notice. But in-game, it is a much uglier and dirtier thing, because mostly only the person who is being targeted will take notice to the harassment. The others will be occupied with ENJOYING the game. And enjoyment is all that matters in a game. If I didn't enjoy playing cRPG, first of all, I would not have bothered to write this essay. But since I do, and since I care about the general well-being of the community (believe it or not), I am more than ready to compensate for whatever harassment I have inflicted on other players. As I said, I am not sure who I harassed apart from kinngrimm, but this is my title for the essay so of course I consider the possibility that I have, in the past or presence, harassed someone. And for that I am truly sorry, because while I may have somewhat of an edgy personality at times, I do care about mostly everyone. People that I believe are assets in the game, artistically, personality wise and etc, I will always look up to them and try to draw wisdom from them. I know that I'm not exactly the most liked person in this community, but please, all of you who feel that I should learn a hard lesson or even so far as to get completely removed from the community, ask yourselves:
Is it not better to forgive and forget than persist with holding grudges?
Because I am completely fine with treating everyone with respect and civility. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about some people that have issues with me. But I'm willing to look past that, and I'm willing to cease the harassment of others. Something I consider very important, no matter if you're an asshole or a nice guy, is the ability to once in a while man up and talk about your issues with people and hear them out on their issues. To discuss in a mature manner, in other words. I value this type of exchange above all, because there is no bullshit simply put. The only way forward in these situations is honesty, no matter how brutally honest said exchange is. To clear up the ambiguity, I'll explain what I'm talking about. If kinngrimm, or anyone else ever had a problem with me, PLEASE talk to me about it. I'm the type of person that wants to mend every problem around me, I'm always the guy trying to meddle in a conflict because that's just who I am. So once again, please, even if you hate my guts and would rather I dropped dead or something, give it a shot. I might not like you either, but as I said, a mature discussion has no place for subjectivity.
I'm truly upset that I got myself into this situation, and even though it's unrealistic to expect me to change entirely (even though I would rather not type stuff when I'm pissed off, I'm probably still going to rage about stuff in-game, but that shit is never intended to target anyone in specific, it's just me raging; can't get any simpler), I will fear for my life the day I get banned again as that would be my last ban. I have way too much history in this community and way too many hours spent to jeopardize them all over some stupid name calling. So if I get a new chance, you don't have to expect a new Bjord but rather a filtered Bjord.
I'd also like to say something to the people who voted 1 and really want me out of this community:
You all have different reasons for not being able to stand me and whatnot, and I accept that. It's probably mutual. But that doesn't mean that we still can't behave like people. One thing I hate is petty and immature stuff like "-"ing every post without even reading it or simply being generally adversarial. It's fine if you target me in-game and it's fine if you love killing me. I target people I dislike as well, because let's face it - it's way more fun to kill your rivals than your friends. But when you let that shit spill out over the forums and in general the whole community, that's when the nasty stuff begins and it becomes personal. I don't approve of that at all.
And since I am taking an obvious stance against personal vendettas, you can safely assume that I value sensibility. I consider myself a person who can listen to criticism without getting offended, it's not a problem for me. For some it is, and maybe that's what bugs me sometimes. But that's their business and I should have respected that and left them to their own selves.
When it all boils down, we're all just people playing a computer game where we're imaginary knights and peasants with imaginary penises. Let's cut the crap and grow beyond all the menial shit. The community is what matters. Together, and no matter how cheesy this sounds, we'll ascend any mountain and overcome any obstacles. The cRPG community is still young (only 2½ years or so), it's far from too late. But if we let stuff like personal vendettas get the better of us, we'll also see the spiraling descent into mutual hatred. Please think of this last paragraph extra long, because this is something I have ALWAYS reflected upon.
Thanks for reading.
EDIT: In the process of replacing some off-topic stuff, sorry about that by the way.
EDIT2: Done. :)