(note sarcastic title for stupid people)
http://news.sky.com/story/1275558/syria-election-bashar-al-assad-named-winnerBashar al Assad has won the Syrian presidential election with 88.7% of the votes, according to the country's parliament speaker.
Jihad Laham said Mr Assad's two challengers, Hassan al Nouri and Maher Hajjar, won 4.3% and 3.2% respectively.
The turnout was 73.42%, according to the Supreme Constitutional Court.
The vote was only held in government-controlled areas, with the Syrian opposition and the West describing the decision to stage it during a civil war as a "farce".
Dat charisma to get 88%! What a good politician
